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Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. v.2

Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. v. 2
Zoos have been amusing and educating humans about animals for centuries. Although, containment of animals in zoos is an increasingly controversial topic. Some argue that confining animals to their cages in zoos are both necessary and healthy, while others refute this. Both sides of this debate will be analysed in this essay before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. On one hand, many believe that keeping animals inside the contrived environment of a zoo is a way to save many species from going extinct. For example, the Auckland Zoo has many breeding programs in place to enable animals to mate and reproduce. These animals might not be able to find mating partners in the wild and hence their species could be wiped out. This example makes it clear why many people support this stance. On the contrary, many argue that the practice of keeping animals in a zoo is harmful to these primates. For instance, a recent survey found out that animals in the zoo in Karachi, Pakistan, were fed toxic substances by the visitors which had an adverse effect on the health of many animals. As this example illustrates, animals in zoos can be abused if proper safety measures are not employed. Hence, it is obvious why this point of view has garnered support. After looking at both sides of this argument, it is felt that keeping animals in zoos begets greater benefits than disadvantages as long as there are precautionary measures in place to ensure the safety of these animals. It is hoped that zoos will continue to keep endangered species from going extinct.
Zoos have been amusing and educating humans about
animals
for centuries.
Although
, containment of
animals
in zoos is an
increasingly
controversial topic.
Some
argue that confining
animals
to their cages in zoos are both necessary and healthy, while others refute this. Both sides of this debate will be
analysed
in this essay
before
a reasoned conclusion
is drawn
.

On one hand,
many
believe that keeping
animals
inside the contrived environment of a zoo is a way to save
many
species from going extinct.
For example
, the Auckland Zoo has
many
breeding programs in place to enable
animals
to mate and reproduce. These
animals
might not be able to find mating partners in the wild and
hence
their species could
be wiped
out. This example
makes
it
clear
why
many
people
support this stance.

On the contrary
,
many
argue that the practice of keeping
animals
in a zoo is harmful to these primates.
For instance
, a recent survey found out that
animals
in the zoo in Karachi, Pakistan,
were fed
toxic substances by the visitors which had an adverse effect on the health of
many
animals
. As this example illustrates,
animals
in zoos can
be abused
if proper safety measures are not employed.
Hence
, it is obvious why this point of view has garnered support.

After looking at both sides of this argument, it
is felt
that keeping
animals
in zoos begets greater benefits than disadvantages as long as there are precautionary measures in place to ensure the safety of these
animals
. It
is hoped
that zoos will continue to
keep
endangered species from going extinct.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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