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Youth unemployment is increasing in many countries in the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it? v.2

Youth unemployment is increasing in many countries in the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it? v. 2
Nowadays finding a job is becoming more and more difficult. unemployment - is the major problem, that young generation has faced, rising the percentage in the labor market. this essay will discuss the main causes and solutions, that could be done to solve the problem. No wonder, that modern age has led to certain changes in the companies, which can mean dismissals for many employees. Firstly, a big amount of manufactories have already replaced workers with new technology, robots. While for the employee such kind of innovation can mean only a discharge, for employers this is a way to decrease expenses on workers and the amount of salaries in general. Secondly, although our world is now on the peak of different opportunities and diverse options of professions, researches claimed, that young generation prefers to work at the service section. Thus, not only certain jobs lost their values and high salaries due to this preferences, but also other unpopular, much more difficult, jobs have a big need of professional stuff with qualifications, paying them as much as possible. To give an example, lawyer has been very popular and demanding job in Ukraine by approximately 6 years ago, and when a major part of students understood it, they all changed their qualifications. However, many of them have left unemployment, because the labor market was small. On the other hand, there are some measures could be taken to solve them. To start with, the managers of manufacturing factories have to offer trainings to involve their employers in different aspects of the job. If they were provided with wider range of skills, they would do more, especially those things, that computer have not educated to do by this time. To give an example, it is important to have stuff, who controls and is responsible for one or another processes. I am convinced that some special field will not been such popular, until the government will not support it. For this reason, I believe, it is important to differently invest money, not only in one thing. To sum up, youth unemployment could be solved by diverse measures. Personally I believe, that this is an individual dealt, because this is a problem for everyone, not only for a government.
Nowadays finding a
job
is becoming more and more difficult.
unemployment
-
is the major problem, that young generation has faced, rising the percentage in the labor market.
this
essay will discuss the main causes and solutions, that could
be done
to solve the problem.

No wonder, that modern age has led to certain
changes
in the
companies
, which can mean dismissals for
many
employees.
Firstly
, a
big
amount of
manufactories
have already replaced workers with new technology, robots. While for the employee such kind of innovation can mean
only
a discharge, for employers this is a way to decrease expenses on workers and the amount of salaries
in general
.
Secondly
, although our world is
now
on the peak of
different
opportunities and diverse options of professions, researches claimed, that young generation prefers to work at the service section.
Thus
, not
only
certain
jobs
lost their values and high salaries due to
this
preferences,
but
also
other unpopular, much more difficult,
jobs
have a
big
need of professional stuff with qualifications, paying them as much as possible. To give an example, lawyer has been
very
popular and demanding
job
in Ukraine by approximately 6 years ago, and when a major part of students understood it, they all
changed
their qualifications.
However
,
many
of them have
left
unemployment,
because
the labor market was
small
.

On the other hand
, there are
some
measures could
be taken
to solve them. To
start
with, the managers of manufacturing factories
have to
offer trainings to involve their employers in
different
aspects of the
job
. If they
were provided
with wider range of
skills
, they would do more,
especially
those things,
that computer have
not educated to do by this time. To give an example, it is
important
to have stuff, who controls and is responsible for one or another processes. I
am convinced
that
some
special field will not been such popular, until the
government
will not support it.
For this reason
, I believe, it is
important
to
differently
invest money, not
only
in one thing.

To sum up, youth unemployment could
be solved
by diverse measures.
Personally
I believe, that this is an individual dealt,
because
this is a problem for everyone, not
only
for a
government
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Youth unemployment is increasing in many countries in the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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