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Unemployment has become an increasing problem in the recent past What factors contribute to an increase in unemployment and what steps can be taken to solve the problem v.1

Unemployment has become an increasing problem in the recent past What factors contribute to an increase in unemployment and what steps can be taken to solve the problem v. 1
In recent years, the unemployment is a major topic of concern in today’s society. There are a number of factors behind this trend and several solutions should be adopted to improve the situation. There are two primary factors which lead to an rise in unemployment at that time. One factor is that no knowledge and technique about job. Example, if a construction engineer does not know the process to create a housing design, he will surely be fired from the company. Furthermore, while the number of recruiting is limited, the labor force is too much, this leads to labor surplus and unemployment. Such as, a company only recruit 2 accounting positions though to 30 people apply for this position, so the other 18 will not get the job. Since such issues are serious, the government and individuals should take steps immediately to address there problems. The first solution would be companies should provide in-depth training in professional skills and skills for employees. For example, opening intensive training courses for new employees, and making requests only when they meet the company's criteria, can they start work. A second measure would be the government should expand the labor market, develop the industrialization and modernize the country. Example, a company A is newly established and needs about 500 employees, which will reduce the amount of unemployment. In conclusion, there are a number of aspects why more and more people have not job. As a result, there could be a several way of promote
In recent years, the unemployment is a major topic of concern in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society. There are a number of factors behind this trend and several solutions should
be adopted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation.

There are two primary factors which lead to
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
rise in unemployment at that time. One factor is that no knowledge and technique about job. Example, if a construction engineer does not know the process to create a housing design, he will
surely
be fired
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Furthermore
, while the number of recruiting
is limited
, the labor force is too much, this leads to labor surplus and unemployment. Such as, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
recruit 2 accounting positions though to 30
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
apply for this position,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the other 18 will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job.

Since such issues are serious, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals should take steps immediately to address
Did you mean "their"?
there
problems. The
first
solution would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should provide in-depth training in professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for employees.
For example
, opening intensive training courses for new employees, and making requests
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's criteria, can they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
work. A second measure would be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should expand the labor market, develop the industrialization and modernize the country. Example, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
A is
newly
established and needs about 500 employees, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of unemployment.

In conclusion
, there are a number of aspects why more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "jobbed".
job
.
As a result
, there could be a several way of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
promote
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Unemployment has become an increasing problem in the recent past What factors contribute to an increase in unemployment and what steps can be taken to solve the problem v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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