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Your school is planning to require each student to do 40 hours of community service per year. Do you think it's a good idea? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this program? Include reasons and examples to support your response. v.1

Your school is planning to require each student to do 40 hours of community service per year. Do you think it's a good idea? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this program? Include reasons and examples to support your response. v. 1
It has been claimed that the pupils from all nations ought to study English as a secondary subject. In my opinion, I agree that it helps to get a job opportunity and aids in travelling to other nations. To being with, students can get better work in reputed companies. That is to say that it is the mode of communication where the recruiters from different countries can understand. Moreover, it is the official language in 53 countries and hence people know English can easily express their thoughts and ideas to get job in other nations. For example, a recent survey report from Cambridge university states that students learn English as a second language are offered by high package employment. Therefore, getting the job with better remuneration can be achieved by learning English as the second language. Another point to consider is that it helps to communicate with people when they are travelling to other countries. In other words, it is globally spoken language and hence people can send their messages clearly to others during their commute. In addition, when they are visiting to other nations as a tourist, this language will help them to survive in that location. For instance, when people are visiting in the US, UK or Australia, they can interact with the locals or seek for the help in case of emergency when they know their language. Thus, it helps them to interact without any discomfort. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree for learning English as a second language because it helps the students to get a better job offer and easy to interact with other country people during their journey.
It has
been claimed
that the pupils from all nations ought to study English as a secondary subject. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity and aids in travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations.

To
Did you mean "begin"?
being
with, students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better work in reputed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
That is
to say that it is the mode of communication where the recruiters from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can understand.
Moreover
, it is the official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in 53
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know English can
easily
express their thoughts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations.
For example
, a recent survey report from Cambridge university states that students learn English as a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are offered
by high package employment.
Therefore
, getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with better remuneration can
be achieved
by learning English as the second language.

Another point to consider is that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when they are travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it is globally spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their messages
clearly
to others during their commute.
In addition
, when they are visiting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations as a tourist, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to survive in that location.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are visiting in the US, UK or Australia, they can interact with the locals or seek for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in case of emergency when they know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Thus
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to interact without any discomfort.

In conclusion
, I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
for learning English as a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer and easy to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
during their journey.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Your school is planning to require each student to do 40 hours of community service per year. Do you think it's a good idea? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this program? Include reasons and examples to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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