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Your Manager has asked you to do a presentation at the upcoming training session. Write a letter to your manager and say– What is the topic of presentation? – What is the benefit of conducting a session on that topic? – What are your requirements for v.1

Your Manager has asked you to do a presentation at the upcoming training session. Write a letter to your manager and say– What is the topic of presentation? – What is the benefit of conducting a session on that topic? – What are your requirements for v. 1
Number of individuals believe that it is vital to secure the status. however, they do not take any action to protect their habitat themselves. There could be many reasons for this which will be explained in upcoming paragraphs in depth along with solutions to it. Firstly, the majority of people have an awareness about the importance of climate. They even know it's detriments though, but, unfortunately, they do not show their interest to take active measures to save it. The very first reason could be the shortage of time in their lives. For example, most of the masses prefer to secure their own house and family first. So, they work hard and do extra work in their workplace to live happily without any lack of modern lifestyle. In this way, they make themselves busy. What is more, they think there are still more authorities or social workers who should think about the habitat. Thus, they do not take any burden and take actions for protection. Therefore, due to lack of time, depends on the social workers, people do not make any efforts themselves. Secondly, a plethora of services should be taken by the government to realize the people of the nation about their responsibilities towards the surroundings such as, top bureaucrat should declare the rule of planting every individual must plant trees in their homes, if anyone does not follow this rule then penalty should be paid by the person. To conclude, to realize the responsibilities of people, the government should make rules so that the masses could make time to protect their situation first.
Number of individuals believe that it is vital to secure the status.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, they do not take any action to protect their habitat themselves. There could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this which will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in upcoming paragraphs in depth along with solutions to it.

Firstly
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an awareness about the importance of climate. They even
Did you mean "now"?
know
it's detriments though,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, unfortunately, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their interest to take active measures to save it. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
reason could be the shortage of time in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, most of the masses prefer to secure their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and family
first
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and do extra work in their workplace to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
without any lack of modern lifestyle. In this way, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
themselves busy.
What is more
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are
still
more authorities or social workers who should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the habitat.
Thus
, they do not take any burden and take actions for protection.
Therefore
, due to lack of time, depends on the social workers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
any efforts themselves.

Secondly
, a plethora of services should
be taken
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to realize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the nation about their responsibilities towards the surroundings such as, top bureaucrat should declare the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of planting every individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
plant trees in their homes, if anyone does not follow this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
then penalty should
be paid
by the person.

To conclude
, to realize the responsibilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the masses could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
time to protect their situation
first
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Your Manager has asked you to do a presentation at the upcoming training session. Write a letter to your manager and say– What is the topic of presentation? – What is the benefit of conducting a session on that topic? – What are your requirements for v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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