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Children can learn effectively by watching tv therefore they should be encouraged at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree. . v.1

Children can learn effectively by watching tv therefore they should be encouraged at home and at school. . v. 1
Caring for children is one of the most critical roles of families. To guarantee that parents are correctly growing their beloved ones. Some people believe that making mothers and fathers attend courses about essential skills for raising a newborn may be a great way. Although I agree with the general concept of this idea, the courses should not be obligatory. On the one hand, while parenting has often considered an innovative skill, which may parents have born with, these courses may provide novel and evidence-based information that most of the families, especially the fresh parents, have never heard. Meanwhile, parents can learn how to raise their children more efficiently. Also, they can be sure that their beloved child has behaved in the best way. Furthermore, nowadays, modern families tend to be more occupied and busy in their workplace to an extent, in which they may even pass the parenting responsibilities to grandparents. These courses may be a chance for parents to be concerned about the way their offspring are growing and pay more attention to their nurturing role. On the other hand, by taking account of the active lifestyle of today's families, although, parenting courses may provide many useful instructions to ensure the growth of a child, setting them up to be mandatory can interfere with the parent’s timeline and over the time make them less interested in participating. In conclusion, one of the most vital roles of parents is to ensure the growth and development of their child, which can obtain by many methods. In fact, one of which I generally agree with is allocating parenting courses for parents where they should take part without compulsion.
Caring for children is one of the most critical roles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. To guarantee that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
correctly
growing their beloved ones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that making mothers and fathers attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
about essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for raising a newborn may be a great way. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the general concept of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
should not be obligatory.

On the one hand, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered an innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, which may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have born with, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
may provide novel and evidence-based information that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
especially
the fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, have never heard. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can learn how to raise their children more
efficiently
.
Also
, they can be sure that their beloved child has behaved in the best way.
Furthermore
, nowadays, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
tend to be more occupied and busy in their workplace to an extent, in which they may even pass the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
responsibilities to grandparents. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
may be a chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
be concerned
about the way their offspring are growing and pay more attention to their nurturing role.

On the other hand
, by taking account of the active lifestyle of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
may provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful instructions to ensure the growth of a child, setting them up to be mandatory can interfere with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
timeline and over the time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them less interested in participating.

In conclusion
, one of the most vital roles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is to ensure the growth and development of their child, which can obtain by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods. In fact, one of which I
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with is allocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
where they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
without compulsion.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Children can learn effectively by watching tv therefore they should be encouraged at home and at school. . v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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