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Your government has announced that it wishes to build a social house near your community. Do you Agree or disagree. v.2

Your government has announced that it wishes to build a social house near your community. v. 2
I totally agree to the decision of the state to build a social house near my community because that helps a lot the poor people. I think in this way because we all would contribute in different forms to be near to the particular group of our community. while we have our houses and protection, they dream only to have food in their houses and risk their lives. in my opinion, the social house will be the greatest idea. Firstly, this particular group of community with low incomes is part of our life. as we find out the way to help them the social houses are perfect idea because we can supply a lot of things there such as food, clothes, furniture etc. for example when I met poor people in ordinary life always I think about the way to give something, but I have low possibility to give furniture because they live in street. in this case when I heard about the social house where they live I went there to send a bed for children and electro. but for me, that house was so far. having a social house means that a lot of people can send their furniture and much more. secondly out of the possibility to rent a house these people risk their life living on the streets. they live in the street because do not have another choice. . for example, yesterday I head on the news that a poor man was attacked by street dogs. he lived in street and while he was going to sleep in the park there happened was attack by dogs. overall building a social house means to have food, water, and a secure life. in conclusion will be a better life for all homeless person and poor people in my community living in a social house. in this way, they can have food, water and somewhere to sleep without risk their life.
I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the decision of the state to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
near my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a lot the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we all would contribute in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms to be near to the particular group of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
we have our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
and protection, they dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
will be the greatest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Firstly
, this particular group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
with low incomes is part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
we find out the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are perfect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can supply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things there such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, clothes, furniture etc.
for example
when I met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
always I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the way to give something,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I have low possibility to give furniture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this case when I heard about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
I went there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a bed for children and
Possible spelling mistake found.
electro
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
for me, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
means that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their furniture and much more.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
out of the possibility to rent a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
living on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
do not have another choice.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, yesterday I head on the news that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
was attacked
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
dogs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
and while he was going to sleep in the park there happened was attack by dogs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
means to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, water, and a secure life.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion will be a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for all homeless person and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this way, they can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, water and somewhere to sleep without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay Your government has announced that it wishes to build a social house near your community. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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