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Your government has announced that it wishes to build a social house near your community. Do you Agree or disagree. v.1

Your government has announced that it wishes to build a social house near your community. v. 1
In the current scenario, the environment has become a huge topic of discussion because of of continuous damaging to the environment by human actions. Governments of several nations have been taking some measures to address this problem, yet the situation is same. In this essay, I will discuss the causes of this issue and propose some solutions to overcome it. The first reason behind the environmental degradation is the reckless cutting of forests. The reason is that the roots of trees help in binding of soil, which prevents the soil erosion and increases the soil fertility. Moreover, forests are the habitat of wild animals and in the recent decades, many living species have been extinct or on a verge of extinction as forest area is depleting continuously. Another reason is elevation in levels of atmospheric pollution due to rapid industrialisation and increasing vehicles, especially in cities. For example, air quality index of cities is worse than that of the outskirt areas because of industries and vehicular traffic. Furthermore, poisonous gases coming out of them cause breathing problems in vulnerable individuals. The deteriorating environmental conditions have a huge impact on our lives and there are numerous measures which should be taken to control this. First of all, trees should be planted in excessive number which would improve air quality and provide food and shelter to many living species. Secondly, pollution levels must be reduced by keeping check on the harmful smoke coming from automobiles and factories. The government has issued several guidelines regarding the dangerous pollutants and their levels. These rules should be strictly applied by the government and followed by the public, if we want to see a bigger change in future. In addition to, climate awareness programs should be initiated by the authorities to make people aware about their nature and learn what should be done to save it. In conclusion, I would say that the problem occurred by damaged surroundings is insurmountable, but it could be solved if the government and the citizens join their hands and tackle these issues by considering some of the solutions proposed above.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, the environment has become a huge topic of discussion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
continuous damaging to the environment by human actions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
of several nations have been taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to address this problem,
yet
the situation is same. In this essay, I will discuss the causes of this issue and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to overcome it.

The
first
reason behind the environmental degradation is the reckless cutting of forests. The reason is that the roots of trees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in binding of soil, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
the soil erosion and increases the soil fertility.
Moreover
, forests are the habitat of wild animals and in the recent decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
living species have been extinct or on a verge of extinction as forest area is depleting
continuously
. Another reason is elevation in levels of atmospheric pollution due to rapid
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
and increasing vehicles,
especially
in cities.
For example
, air quality index of cities is worse than that of the outskirt areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of industries and vehicular traffic.
Furthermore
, poisonous gases coming out of them cause breathing problems in vulnerable individuals.

The deteriorating environmental conditions have a huge impact on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and there are numerous measures which should
be taken
to control this.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, trees should
be planted
in excessive number which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
air quality and provide food and shelter to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
living species.
Secondly
, pollution levels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by keeping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on the harmful smoke coming from automobiles and factories. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has issued several guidelines regarding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
pollutants and their levels. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should be
strictly
applied by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and followed by the public, if we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a bigger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
In addition
to, climate awareness programs should
be initiated
by the authorities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware about their nature and learn what should
be done
to save it.

In conclusion
, I would say that the problem occurred by damaged surroundings is insurmountable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it could
be solved
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
their hands and tackle these issues by considering
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
solutions proposed above.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Your government has announced that it wishes to build a social house near your community. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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