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Your friend wants to start a new hobby but can’t spend any money. What would you recommend and why? v.1

Your friend wants to start a new hobby but can’t spend any money. What would you recommend and why? v. 1
Recently, a lot people now prefer fast food to home made cuisine and they have refused to cook in their homes. In my opinion, this is as a result of lack of time to prepare meals as the preparation can be tasking. Furthermore, the drawbacks is that, it causes wastage of money and may result to obesity and other health problems. Despite this, eating ready-made foodstuff saves the day Most people working 9-5 in a congested and busy environment do not have the luxury of cooking, as such they opt for restaurant meals. Fast feed meals are readily available and accessible to everyone and equally saves time unlike cooking in homes. In addition, preparing home made meal is seen to be tasking and takes a lot of time because it involves a long process depending on the dish to be prepared. On the one hand, there are several drawbacks to consuming ready-made cooking. Firstly, more money is spent on purchasing these meals as some buy them for their everyday meal. Because of this, people have not been able to save or monitor the amount spent on foodstuff. Secondly, it is not healthy to consume because a lot of fast food meals are processed foods and most are junk, which can cause obesity. For example, the United Kingdom, fast-food budget stated that, most people who are obese are so because of incessant consumption of fast food meals. Subsequently, these meals also have ability to cause other health conditions that are detrimental to one's health. On the other hand, eating bread cooked at the restaurant has some benefits. It saves time as it is readily available and people do not have to cook in order to quench their hunger. In addition, it provides people with a variety of cuisines to choose. People have the option to choose whatever meal they prefer and also satisfy their cravings. In conclusion, people tend to choose a ready-made meal over home made feed because of its availability at times needed. Also, its benefits are worthy because it saves people's time and provide them with a variety of foods, however, its disadvantages are not pleasant.
Recently, a lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to home made
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cuisine and
they have refused to cook in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. In my opinion, this is
as a result
of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
as the preparation can be tasking.
Furthermore
, the drawbacks is that, it causes wastage of money and may result to obesity and other health problems. Despite this, eating ready-made foodstuff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saves
the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
day


Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working 9-5 in a congested and busy environment do not have the luxury of cooking, as such they opt for restaurant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
feed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
are
readily
available and accessible to everyone and
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
unlike cooking in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
In addition
, preparing home made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be tasking and takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it involves a long process depending on the dish to
be prepared
.

On the one hand, there are several drawbacks to consuming ready-made cooking.
Firstly
, more money
is spent
on purchasing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them for their everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
.
Because of this
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not been able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
or monitor the amount spent on foodstuff.
Secondly
, it is not healthy to consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
are processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and most are junk, which can cause obesity.
For example
, the United Kingdom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food budget stated that, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are obese are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of incessant consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
.
Subsequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
also
have ability to cause other health conditions that are detrimental to one's health.

On the other hand
, eating bread cooked at the restaurant has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as it is
readily
available and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cook in order to quench their hunger.
In addition
, it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a variety of cuisines to choose.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have the option to choose whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
they prefer and
also
satisfy their cravings.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to choose a ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
over home made feed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its availability at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
needed.
Also
, its benefits are worthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and provide them with a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
however
, its disadvantages are not pleasant.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Your friend wants to start a new hobby but can’t spend any money. What would you recommend and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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