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Do you think having a hobby is good for people's social life? In what way? Are there any negative effects of a person spending too much hobby v.1

Do you think having a hobby is good for people's social life? In what way? Are there any negative effects of a person spending too much hobby v. 1
In this contemporary era, the existence and importance of the two significantly distinguishable fields, entertainment and science, have attracted the voice of a lot of people. Although, entertainers hold a paramount position, I believe that scientists demand greater importance. Accentuating the side supporting that entertainers are essential, I reckon that they help in living a less stressful life. The lifestyle of most people is dull and monotonous and demands change, entertainers provide that deviation. Along with this, it is also considered that the level of stress reduces, and the mind becomes refreshed after an entertaining event. To illustrate, the proliferating popularity of live comedy shows, apparently exhibits the elevated want for variation from the rat race routine. Embarking on the compelling view, which brings out the importance of scientist, it won’t be wrong in propounding that keeping pace with expeditious technological advancements is essential. The experiments which are being conducted hold utmost significance and hence, cannot be ignored. Moreover, they have an impact on the life if each individual in some way or the other. For example, a recent discovery which aids in the transformation of water into fuel is indeed record breaking. This might suffice the growing fuel demand and mitigate the environmental problem, which we all are facing currently. To summarize and opine on this topic, I would state that entertainers do help in making our lives better and worth living. But considering the need of the hour and adverse conditions, scientists should be given a pertinent position as they not only support in technological success but also improve the current living situation.
In this contemporary era, the existence and importance of the two
significantly
distinguishable fields, entertainment and science, have attracted the voice of
a lot of
people
. Although,
entertainers
hold a paramount position, I believe that scientists demand greater importance.

Accentuating the side supporting that
entertainers
are essential, I reckon that they
help
in living a less stressful life. The lifestyle of most
people
is dull and monotonous and demands
change
,
entertainers
provide that deviation. Along with this, it is
also
considered that the level of
stress
reduces
, and the mind becomes refreshed after an entertaining
event
. To illustrate, the proliferating popularity of
live
comedy
shows
,
apparently
exhibits the elevated want for variation from the rat race routine.

Embarking on the compelling view, which brings out the importance of scientist, it won’t be
wrong
in propounding that keeping pace with expeditious technological advancements is essential. The experiments which are
being conducted
hold utmost significance and
hence
, cannot be
ignored
.
Moreover
, they have an impact on the life if each individual in
some
way or the other.
For example
, a recent discovery which aids in the transformation of water into fuel is
indeed
record breaking
. This might suffice the growing fuel demand and mitigate the environmental problem, which we all are facing
currently
.

To summarize
and opine on this topic, I would state that
entertainers
do
help
in making our
lives
better and worth living.
But
considering the need of the hour and adverse conditions, scientists should be
given
a pertinent position as they not
only
support in technological success
but
also
improve
the
current
living situation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think having a hobby is good for people's social life? In what way? Are there any negative effects of a person spending too much hobby v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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