Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

What kind of student activities do you prefer? 1. ) tutoring other students 2. ) participating in a club or sports 3. ) leading a student organziation v.1

What kind of student activities do you prefer? 1. ) tutoring other students 2. ) participating in a club or sports 3. ) leading a student organziation v. 1
It is considered that the salary is the most attractive part of a job. But, many people argue that other aspects of a work are equally important and this essay will examine the both sides of the argument. It is certainly true that the wage is a definitive aspect of a job in todays economic world. In fact, most people prefer paying employment rather than low wage rates, no matter how hard they fight to cope with the stressful situations of a particular employment. For instance, employees tend to attract some jobs such as factory worker in China, as they are paid smartly and may ignorant of the life threatening risk that the job carries with it because of the lack of safety precautions. Therefore salary plays a pivotal role in selecting an employment as this is an era of consumer society. On the other hand, mere financial incentives could not bring the standards for an occupation. This means that other aspect such as job satisfaction, social stigma towards a profession and ethics are equally added a criterion for a selection of a standardized job perspective. For example, many recent study has shown that poor job satisfaction leads to the high turnover rates among nurses in worldwide, although they pay attractive salaries compared to the other professions. In conclusion, because of these reasons it can be argued and I wholeheartedly advocate that the job itself is the most important and many aspects could be considered as standardized perspective rather than the salary of an occupation.
It
is considered
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the most attractive part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
of a work are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and this essay will examine the both sides of the argument.

It is
certainly
true that the wage is a definitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
economic world. In fact, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer paying employment
rather
than low wage rates, no matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
they fight to cope with the stressful situations of a particular employment.
For instance
, employees tend to attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
such as factory worker in China, as they
are paid
smartly
and may ignorant of the life threatening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
carries with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of safety precautions.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
plays a pivotal role in selecting an employment as this is an era of consumer society.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, mere financial incentives could not bring the standards for an occupation. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction, social stigma towards a profession and ethics are
equally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
a criterion for a selection of a standardized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
perspective.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
recent study has shown that poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction leads to the high turnover rates among nurses in worldwide, although they pay attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professions.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these reasons it can
be argued
and I
wholeheartedly
advocate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
itself is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
could
be considered
as standardized perspective
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of an occupation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What kind of student activities do you prefer? 1. ) tutoring other students 2. ) participating in a club or sports 3. ) leading a student organziation v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts