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some people believe that life should be lived in the moment, and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Others believe that planning a future and focusing on tomorrow is a better approach to life. v.2

some people believe that life should be lived in the moment, and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Others believe that planning a future and focusing on tomorrow is a better approach to life. v. 2
In the modern world, the lifestyle has changed dramatically, people live with busy styles and lack exercise activities despite the rapid increase in the number of gyms. This lifestyle is connected with some problems, but There are some possible solutions to this issue. There are various problems with the sedentary lifestyle, people mostly focus on their jobs and forget physical activity. As a matter of fact, lack of healthy activity makes people suffer from many diseases. For example, obesity, diabetes and diseases related to bones and joints are mainly caused because they do not have enough time to do exercise. Moreover, not performing any exercises leads to various negative effects on study and work performance. The reality has also indicated that people become lazy and stressed when they spend more time playing games and using social media than a workout In my opinion, there are possible solutions to solve these problems. Firstly, we should try a couple of healthy activities daily such as walking around the park, practicing exercise lessons on the internet and minimizing using technology. Another significant point is that instead of letting children use the phone, we can create the physical activities and make good habits in life and encourage the next generations to maintain an active lifestyle for themselves. In addition, propagating the benefits of exercise is a good way we can promote people’s awareness of leading a healthy lifestyle. To recapitulate, a sedentary way of life leads to such problems as gaining weight, health problems while we can manage time of playing or working to create good physical activities to maintain healthy habits.
In the modern world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with busy styles and lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
despite the rapid increase in the number of gyms. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is connected
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions to this issue.

There are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with the sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
focus on their jobs and forget physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. As a matter of fact, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases.
For example
, obesity, diabetes and diseases related to bones and joints are
mainly
caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Moreover
, not performing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
leads to various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on study and work performance. The reality has
also
indicated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become lazy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
when they spend more time playing games and using social media than a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
workout


In my opinion, there are possible solutions to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
, we should try a couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
daily such as walking around the park, practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
lessons on the internet and minimizing using technology. Another significant point is that
instead
of letting children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the phone, we can create the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits in life and encourage the
next
generations to maintain an active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
for themselves.
In addition
, propagating the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way we can promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness of leading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.

To recapitulate, a sedentary way of life leads to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as gaining weight, health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
while we can manage time of playing or working to create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
habits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe that life should be lived in the moment, and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Others believe that planning a future and focusing on tomorrow is a better approach to life. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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