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In light of reasons mention above, I would deny the situation to face with my friends and classmate because i do not wants to lose my friend again and again. Therefore, I would highly recommend try to stay away from competition with friends. v.1

In light of reasons mention above, I would deny the situation to face with my friends and classmate because i do not wants to lose my friend again and again. Therefore, I would highly recommend try to stay away from competition with friends. v. 1
The quality of the education plays a vital role in one's success. Over the last few decades, importance of style of teaching is ever increasing. Nowadays, the majority of people think that school education should focus more on the skills which leads to success of the students rather than only achieving the academic milestones. To a certain extent I agreed that success oriented teaching is more beneficial. However, We cannot ignore the value of academic achievements. This essay will discuss both the viewpoints. Today's world is a very competitive place. Everyone is in the race to get successful by either getting a highly paid job or by starting its own successful business. For example, to become a good painter, one should know the ins and the outs of the painting. A person cannot just achieve success by reading books. So, school teaching must focus on imparting vocational skills like painting, cooking or crafting. Also regular workshops should be organised to teach them the value of team bonding, cooperation and effective communication skills. In other words, a lot of things are required to be successful in life apart from books. On the other hand, we cannot underestimate the role of academic courses. Such courses are necessary to understand basic things in the life. For instance, school subjects help in enhancing individual's aptitude and verbal abilities. Moreover, employers always look for a good academic background while hiring an employee. Hence school studies also contribute in positive manner. To sum up, the success of the workforce is more essential than school milestones. I agree with the fact that focusing more on the success of the students will reap excellent benefits. It is predicted that, in future, skill oriented courses will be taught more.
The quality of the education plays a vital role in one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Over the last few decades, importance of style of teaching is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
. Nowadays, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education should focus more on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of the students
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
achieving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
milestones. To a certain extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
oriented teaching is more beneficial.
However
, We cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievements. This essay will discuss both the viewpoints.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's world is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive place. Everyone is in the race to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
successful by either getting a
highly
paid job or by starting its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
successful business.
For example
, to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
painter, one should know the ins and the outs of the painting. A person cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
by reading books.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on imparting vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like painting, cooking or crafting.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
regular workshops should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
to teach them the value of team bonding, cooperation and effective communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things
are required
to be successful in life apart from books.

On the other hand
, we cannot underestimate the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
courses. Such courses are necessary to understand basic things in the life.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in enhancing individual's aptitude and verbal abilities.
Moreover
, employers always look for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
background while hiring an employee.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
studies
also
contribute in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
manner.

To sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of the workforce is more essential than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
milestones. I
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
focusing more on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of the students will reap excellent benefits. It
is predicted
that,
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
oriented courses will
be taught
more.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In light of reasons mention above, I would deny the situation to face with my friends and classmate because i do not wants to lose my friend again and again. Therefore, I would highly recommend try to stay away from competition with friends. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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