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Your friend is thinking about getting a pet and asks for your advice. What kind of pet would you recommend for your friend? Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v.1

Your friend is thinking about getting a pet and asks for your advice. What kind of pet would you recommend for your friend? Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 1
In the recent decade, humankind has seen the industrial revolution and innovation in technology which was never witnessed before and this has led to a new debate about its impact on different cultures across the globe with many arguing that the digital revolution may completely sweep traditional practices and cultural values. I firmly agree with this notion, and the argument will be supported by a few examples in this essay. Much as the contemporary world believes that innovation and advancement in technology have brought several benefits and made life easier for people in terms of the advance healthcare system and cutting edge communication devices to name a few. However, this relief has come at a cost, such as the disappearance of traditional cultural practices, celebrations, rituals, and unique customs. One better way to explain the phenomenon is traditional treatments of various diseases which were effective, and they now have now been replaced by modern drugs. Moreover, as the world is evolving into a global village, it is inevitable that in the near future there will be only one culture having the same modern practices and living style. Furthermore, another reason why I believe that the technological revolution has left little breathing space for cultures to survive is the introduction of multinational corporate businesses which are not only forcing people to abandon their traditional style of running business but also persuading them to adapt to the global standards such as wearing uniforms and following dress code due to which young people have been completely disconnected from their cultural outfits. Last but not least, technology has also threatened the existence of traditional cuisines and dishes and replaced it with tasteless fast food which is now widely available and often the first choice for time-starved people. Thus, if things continue to develop in such a way, these unique aromatic cuisines may completely disappear in the near future. To conclude, even though the latest technology has changed our lifestyle in many ways, and given us a more comfortable and healthy way to live our life, it is essential that society should remain connected to traditional cultural practices and customs. The pace at which traditional rituals are being replaced by modern technology, the world could evolve into a place where there would be no cultural diversity which is detrimental for humankind.
In the recent decade, humankind has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the industrial revolution and innovation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which was never witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and this has led to a new debate about its impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures across the globe with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguing that the digital revolution may completely sweep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion, and the argument will
be supported
by a few examples in this essay.

Much as the contemporary world believes that innovation and advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have brought several benefits and made life easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in terms of the advance healthcare system and cutting edge communication devices to name a few.
However
, this relief has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at a cost, such as the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
, celebrations, rituals, and unique customs. One better way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the phenomenon is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
treatments of various diseases which were effective, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
been replaced
by modern drugs.
Moreover
, as the world is evolving into a global village, it is inevitable that in the near future there will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one culture having the same modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
and living style.

Furthermore
, another reason why I believe that the technological revolution has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
breathing space for cultures to survive is the introduction of multinational corporate businesses which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to abandon their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
style of running business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
persuading them to adapt to the global standards such as wearing uniforms and following dress code due to which young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been completely disconnected from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
outfits. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
also
threatened the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
cuisines and dishes and replaced it with tasteless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
widely
available and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the
first
choice for time-starved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, if things continue to develop in such a way, these unique aromatic cuisines may completely disappear in the near future.

To conclude
,
even though
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our lifestyle in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us a more comfortable and healthy way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
our life, it is essential that society should remain connected to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
and customs. The pace at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
rituals are
being replaced
by modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, the world could evolve into a place where there would be no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
diversity which is detrimental for humankind.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Your friend is thinking about getting a pet and asks for your advice. What kind of pet would you recommend for your friend? Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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