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Some people believe that having a pet such as a cat or a dog helps old people to have a more enjoyable life and to stay healthier. How do you think old people benefit from having a pet? Do you think there are any problems in old people having a pet? v.1

Some people believe that having a pet such as a cat or a dog helps old people to have a more enjoyable life and to stay healthier. How do you think old people benefit from having a pet? Do you think there are any problems in old people having a pet? v. 1
Today people care more about the quality of older citizens’ life. A mass of people holds that having pets make a profound contribution to optimizing people health and making their life more delightful. Although this view has strong opinions, having pets can cause some drawbacks. From a physiological point of view, because of life-style’s changes, senior citizens most of the times live alone and suffer from illness such as depression. So, these kinds of animals give people the opportunity to fulfill their loneliness. Besides that, not only do pets help to mental issues but also it allows people to do exercise. For example, in a normal situation, elderly groups have no inherent tendency to go out. However, when they keep animals, they have to spend times with them outside, which is well worth the effort. Last but not list, another prized aspect of having some pets like dogs are that they can aware their owners of some hazards such as firing or thieves. On the downside, having pets can leads to some disadvantages like health and financial problems for owners. Firstly, From a medical point of view, some times, animals’ hairs or furs cause allergic reactions in a flock of people, which cost a lot for patients to cure. Besides that, animals can carry some diseases’ virus, which cures waste a considerable amount of money and energy of elderly groups. Secondly, pets need close attention like babies, such as washing them, or they need some times to play. While older people may have not enough strength and concentration to do such activities and in corollary, it may cause some physical problems for them, such as suffering broken bones. In conclusion, despite the fact that the gains of having pets are measurable, some times, it causes some side effects for individuals.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
care more about the quality of older citizens’ life. A mass of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
holds that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profound contribution to optimizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
health and making their life more delightful. Although this view has strong opinions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

From a physiological point of view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of life-style’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, senior citizens most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone and suffer from illness such as depression.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the opportunity to fulfill their loneliness.
Besides
that, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to mental issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do exercise.
For example
, in a normal situation, elderly groups have no inherent tendency to go out.
However
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
with them outside, which is well worth the effort. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not list, another prized aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
like dogs are that they can aware their owners of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hazards such as firing or thieves.

On the downside,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
can leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages like health and financial problems for owners.
Firstly
, From a medical point of view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
hairs or furs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
allergic reactions in a flock of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which cost a lot for patients to cure.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases’ virus, which cures waste a considerable amount of money and energy of elderly groups.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
need close attention like babies, such as washing them, or they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to play. While older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
strength and concentration to do such activities and in corollary, it may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical problems for them, such as suffering broken bones.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that the gains of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
are measurable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
side effects for individuals.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that having a pet such as a cat or a dog helps old people to have a more enjoyable life and to stay healthier. How do you think old people benefit from having a pet? Do you think there are any problems in old people having a pet? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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