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your friend is in another country, you would like to work in that country. Ask advice for job possibilities at that country. In your letter: - say why you are looking in his/her country - what skills and work experience you have- ask some questions about s v.1

your friend is in another country, you would like to work in that country. Ask advice for job possibilities at that country. In your letter: - say why you are looking in his/her country - what skills and work experience you have- ask some questions about s v. 1
Food is the basic necessity of life. Over the course of time, many advancements have been introduced in agriculture, but despite of that there are people around the globe who are still going through starvation and they have no food to eat. I am going to explain the possible causes and solution to tackle this issue in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, the world produces enough food to feed the entire population of seven billion. But still there are some countries in the world who are suffering from hunger, because they do not have enough money and resources to grow crops and feed themselves and their families. For instance, there are some parts of the Central African Republic which going through the serious humanitarian crisis roughly 90 percent of its population live in crippling poverty and no access to the food. Thus, this proves poverty and hunger goes hand in hand. To tackle this problem in the long run, the developed countries can help them by providing technological and financial aid. For example, the countries like the USA can collaborate with such countries and can share their technology or can set up workshops to teach the young farmers in these countries that how they can still grow crops with least resources. Also, hybrid seeds and plants can be invented, which can grow and withstand in extreme conditions. Finally, it is also very necessary to tackle the climate change issues. To sum up, it is true that a significant number of people in the world suffer from famine even though many farming advancements are currently in use. This can be overcome by providing the knowledge and financial aids for people who need it the most.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
is the basic necessity of life. Over the course of time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advancements have
been introduced
in agriculture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
that there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the globe who are
still
going through
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
starvation and
they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to eat. I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the possible causes and solution to tackle this issue in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the world produces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to feed the entire population of seven billion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
still
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world who are suffering from hunger,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money and resources to grow crops and feed themselves and their families.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the Central African Republic which going through the serious humanitarian crisis roughly 90 percent of its population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in crippling poverty and no access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Thus
, this proves poverty and hunger goes hand in hand.

To tackle this problem in the long run, the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them by providing technological and financial aid.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the USA can collaborate with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and can share their technology or can set up workshops to teach the young farmers in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that how they can
still
grow crops with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
resources.
Also
, hybrid seeds and plants can
be invented
, which can grow and withstand in extreme conditions.
Finally
, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary to tackle the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
issues.

To sum up, it is true that a significant number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world suffer from famine
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
farming advancements are
currently
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. This can
be overcome
by providing the knowledge and financial aids for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who need it the most.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay your friend is in another country, you would like to work in that country. Ask advice for job possibilities at that country. In your letter: - say why you are looking in his/her country - what skills and work experience you have- ask some questions about s v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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