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The pie chart below shows where energy is used in a typical Australian household and the table shows the amount of eletricity used according to the number of occupants Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make compari v.1

The pie chart below shows where energy is used in a typical Australian household and the table shows the amount of eletricity used according to the number of occupants
As people get old they cherish the sweet memories of their childhood, adolescence, and youth and claim that those days were better than the present. This essay partially agrees with the view expressed by older people even through such a view is influenced by their inability to cope with modern changes and trends. To start with, despite advancements in science and medicine, old age is not free from troubles to many people. The best example to illustrate this point is that some old people are not productive. With physical and mental traumas on the increase, some old people are dependent on others. Under such circumstances, it is only natural that old people feel isolated. However, some old people are very active. By following a healthy lifestyle, they keep fit. Many older people engaging in business and charitable activities serve* a good example. Even such energetic and productive old people are nostalgic and there is nothing wrong with it. Another noteworthy aspect of the issue is that nowadays, old people have better living conditions. With the improvements in technology and medicine, treatment is available for several debilitating (=weaken) conditions. Improved sanitation facilities are of immense help. The existence of several charitable organizations taking care of the elderly an best illustrates how better facilities old people enjoy today. Despite all these, some old people keep on complaining because of conditioning, although it is not entirely the fault of any particular individual. In conclusion, old age is full of care. To be nostalgic is in human nature. To tolerate the elderly in the evenings of their lives and to do the best to become better their plight is what society can do for old people.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
they cherish the sweet memories of their childhood, adolescence, and youth and claim that those days were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than the present. This essay
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the view expressed by older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even through such a view
is influenced
by their inability to cope with modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and trends.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, despite advancements in science and medicine,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age is not free from troubles to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The best example to illustrate this point is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not productive. With physical and mental traumas on the increase,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are dependent on others. Under such circumstances, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
natural that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel isolated.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
active. By following a healthy lifestyle, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
engaging in business and charitable activities serve* a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example. Even such energetic and productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are nostalgic and there is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
with it.

Another noteworthy aspect of the issue is that nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
living conditions. With the improvements in technology and medicine, treatment is available for several debilitating (=weaken) conditions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Improved
sanitation facilities are of immense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. The existence of several charitable organizations taking care of the elderly
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
best illustrates how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
facilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Despite all these,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on complaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of conditioning, although it is not
entirely
the fault of any particular individual.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age is full of care. To be nostalgic is in human nature. To tolerate the elderly in the evenings of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and to do the best to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
their plight is what society can do for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The pie chart below shows where energy is used in a typical Australian household and the table shows the amount of eletricity used according to the number of occupants

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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