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Some people think that paying tax is their only duty while others believe that we have more responsibilities towards society Discuss both view and give your opinion v.5

Some people think that paying tax is their only duty while others believe that we have more responsibilities towards society 5
The majority of people think that music plays a vital role in our modern world, which can get rid of culture and generation differences. In my opinion, I totally agree with this point of view for many reasons. On the one hand, music is likely to broaden people’s horizon to welcome various cultures all over the world. It is needless to say that each country has their own tradition that performs their culture and norms. Music can reduce this culture gap and be a good method to help individuals to have a better cooperation with other people. Moreover, we must admit that local accent in many regions is the biggest challenge in communication. However, with a song, this obstacle can be a tiny problem. For example, international music festivals in Hue, which have been taken place every two years, provide citizens all around the world with opportunities to access nation’s culture and have a deeper understanding about it. On the other hand, there is no boundary of age when it comes to music, which gives an everlasting connection between the adolescents and the older. Music is a common ground, considered a popular pastime for almost all ages. This is also the magical psychological therapies for medical treatment. In the other words, we can say that music and its rhythm can heal hurts and gather many people who have the same symptoms to take part in the treatment process. For instance, patients, who have a trouble with their mental health and have a headache from time to time, are encouraged to enjoy meditation music classes to keep their soul balance. Most people can practice this solution and it does not require any specific ages. We cannot deny the importance of music in our lives and its ability to glue people from a multitude of cultural sectors and ages.
The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays a vital role in our modern world, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and generation differences. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is likely to broaden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
horizon to welcome various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
all over the world. It is needless to say that each country has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tradition that performs their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and norms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
gap and be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals to have a better cooperation with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
admit that local accent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions is the biggest challenge in communication.
However
, with a song, this obstacle can be a tiny problem.
For example
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
festivals in Hue, which have
been taken
place every two years, provide citizens all around the world with opportunities to access nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and have a deeper understanding about it.

On the other hand
, there is no boundary of age when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, which gives an everlasting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the adolescents and the older.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a common ground, considered a popular pastime for almost all ages. This is
also
the magical psychological therapies for medical treatment. In the other words, we can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and its rhythm can heal hurts and gather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have the same symptoms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the treatment process.
For instance
, patients, who have a trouble with their mental health and have a headache from time to time,
are encouraged
to enjoy meditation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
classes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their soul balance. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can practice this solution and it does not require any specific ages.

We cannot deny the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and its ability to glue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from a multitude of cultural sectors and ages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that paying tax is their only duty while others believe that we have more responsibilities towards society 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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