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Your friend has to decide between a talking parrot and or a tortoise. Which pet would you advise her to choose and why? v.1

Your friend has to decide between a talking parrot and or a tortoise. Which pet would you advise her to choose and why? v. 1
According to some people, traffic tickets are the best way to decreasing traffic accidents, while others claim that different steps should be taken to provide traffic safety. From my point of view, traffic fines are essential to provide safety. However, I also believe that other measures should be taken. This essay will examine both views about road safety with relevant examples. On the one hand, as it is well known that road safety is a crucial problem in this day and age because of the increasing number of vehicles. In other words, nowadays, there are more vehicles on the road which are causing traffic jams. First of all, planning the number of motor vehicles on the road would be a good step. For instance, trucks should be allowed to travel only at nights to reduce the number of vehicles in traffic at rush hours. Therefore, commuters may travel in a safe way. Secondly, drivers should be tested on a regular basis. Moreover, all people should be taught how to obey the rules and be respectful to each other in traffic in an earlier period at schools. If everyone obeys the rules, roads would be safer for individuals. On the other hand, in some countries, testing drivers regularly would be difficult or impossible. Therefore, increasing punishments may be the only solution to avoid traffic accidents. Unfortunately, some people think that they could do whatever they want if there is not a restriction or inspection. For instance, some drivers attempt to exceed the speed limits when they are sure that there is no traffic control. Because of this reason, traffic controls and traffic tickets should be increased. To conclude, punishment is considerably important to provide road safety. However, I also believe that the foremost thing is to educate people properly.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
tickets are the best way to decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents, while others claim that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
steps should
be taken
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
. From my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
fines are essential to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
However
, I
also
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures should
be taken
. This essay will examine both views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
with relevant examples.

On the one hand, as it is well known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
is a crucial problem in this day and age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, nowadays, there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
which are causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, planning the number of motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
step.
For instance
, trucks should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at nights to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
at rush hours.
Therefore
, commuters may travel
Consider replacing "in a safe way" with the adverb for "safe"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a safe way
.
Secondly
, drivers should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on a regular basis.
Moreover
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be taught
how to obey the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and be respectful to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
in an earlier period at schools. If everyone obeys the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
would be safer for individuals.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, testing drivers
regularly
would be difficult or impossible.
Therefore
, increasing punishments may be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they could do whatever they want if there is not a restriction or inspection.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drivers attempt to exceed the speed limits when they are sure that there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
control.
Because of this
reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
controls and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
tickets should
be increased
.

To conclude
, punishment is
considerably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
However
, I
also
believe that the foremost thing is to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
properly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Your friend has to decide between a talking parrot and or a tortoise. Which pet would you advise her to choose and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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