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Your city has decided to build a statue or monument to honour a famous person in your country. Whom would you choose? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice. v.1

Your city has decided to build a statue or monument to honour a famous person in your country. Whom would you choose? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice. v. 1
Most people argue that modern technology brings many problems to society as compared to some minor advantage it might bring. I do not agree with this statement and consider that technology advancement has made people's life much-easier than the past. As far as the harmful effects of such innovations considered, I think these can be easily ignored, seeing the huge benefits it has to offer individual and society. Firstly, machines have helped people saving a lot of energy as well as time while doing daily chores. Earlier every household work needed manual efforts, therefore people had to spend their lot of time doing these tasks such as washing clothes and utensils. Nowadays, there are machines available for all almost all the tasks. For instance, washing machines have been introduced to wash cloths. Similarly, dishwashers are there to wash utensils. In other words, these machines have proven to be a blessing for busy and elderly people. Another field which is greatly benefited by modern innovation is education and hospital industry. Now, people can attend virtual classes and listen to recorded lessons anytime at any remote location. Therefore, now education is in reach of remote areas too. Additionally, modern innovations have helped in saving human from a deadly illness. Now, the medical equipments are available to cure almost any diseases, which was not possible in the past when automation was not in the existence. In conclusion, technology has undeniably made peoples' life easy as well as comforting and far outweigh any of the minor drawbacks that can result from modern innovations. Most of the small problems caused by these inventions can be easily avoided with human's attention and care.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technology brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems to society as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor advantage it might bring. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and consider that technology advancement has made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life much-easier than the past. As far as the harmful effects of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
considered, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
, seeing the huge benefits it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
offer individual and society.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
energy
as well
as time while doing daily chores. Earlier every household work needed manual efforts,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to spend their lot of time doing these tasks such as washing clothes and utensils. Nowadays, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
available for all almost all the tasks.
For instance
, washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have
been introduced
to wash cloths.
Similarly
, dishwashers are there to wash utensils.
In other words
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have proven to be a blessing for busy and elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Another field which is
greatly
benefited by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovation
is education and hospital industry.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can attend virtual classes and listen to recorded lessons anytime at any remote location.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
education is in reach of remote areas too.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in saving human from a deadly illness.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, the medical equipments are available to cure almost any diseases, which was not possible in the past when automation was not in the existence.

In conclusion
, technology has
undeniably
made peoples' life easy
as well
as comforting and far outweigh any of the minor drawbacks that can result from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
. Most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
problems caused by these inventions can be
easily
avoided with human's attention and care.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Your city has decided to build a statue or monument to honour a famous person in your country. Whom would you choose? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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