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Your child’s school has arranged a trip abroad for students. The principal of the school asked some parents to join the trip to help. Write to the school principle and say– Why do you want to join the trip? – How could you help during the trip? – As v.1

Your child’s school has arranged a trip abroad for students. The principal of the school asked some parents to join the trip to help. Write to the school principle and say– Why do you want to join the trip? – How could you help during the trip? – As v. 1
It is important to consider the methods of teaching. Some people believe that less time is spent on learning technical skills and too much time on learning facts. This essay agrees that large amount of time is allocated to the studying of theories and less time on proficiencies. To begin with, one reason why huge period is devoted to studying facts is the way that the educational institutions are designed. Too much emphasis is placed on learning hypothesis, especially in developing counties. For example, The Sun recently reported that 95% of graduates from Nigeria had no opportunities to gain expertise while they were in school because of increased course work as the semester progresses. Nonetheless, if they had gained competence, it would not be as a result of the huge course work. Moreover, schools are not equipped with state of the art laboratories. This is one of the reasons why it is more focused on facts. Students who have interest to learn practical knowledge are left with little opportunities to do so. For instance, The Guardian recently reported that more than 95% of student who showed interest in gaining expertise while in the university had no opportunities to do so because their institutions lacks quality laboratories. Notwithstanding, if standard laboratories had been provided in those institutions, the students would have been able to learn these skills. In conclusion, due to the methods of education and lack of equipments, I believe these are the reasons why much time is spent on learning facts than practical skills.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the methods of teaching.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
facts. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is allocated
to the studying of theories and less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on proficiencies.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one reason why huge period
is devoted
to studying facts is the way that the educational institutions
are designed
. Too much emphasis
is placed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
hypothesis,
especially
in developing counties.
For example
, The Sun recently reported that 95% of graduates from Nigeria had no opportunities to gain expertise while they were in school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increased course work as the semester progresses. Nonetheless, if they had gained competence, it would not be
as a result
of the huge course work.

Moreover
, schools are not equipped with
Did you mean "state-of-the-art"?
state of the art
laboratories. This is one of the reasons why it is more focused on facts. Students who have interest to learn practical knowledge are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
opportunities to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
For instance
, The Guardian recently reported that more than 95% of student who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
interest in gaining expertise while in the university had no opportunities to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their institutions lacks quality laboratories. Notwithstanding, if standard laboratories had
been provided
in those institutions, the students would have been able to learn these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, due to the methods of education and lack of equipments, I believe these are the reasons why much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
facts than practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Your child’s school has arranged a trip abroad for students. The principal of the school asked some parents to join the trip to help. Write to the school principle and say– Why do you want to join the trip? – How could you help during the trip? – As v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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