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young people traveling to different countries benefit them. Do you agree or disagree. v.1

young people traveling to different countries benefit them. v. 1
In the era of modernization, the trend towards travelling is exponentially growing. Therefore, some opine that explores different nations provides tremendous benefits to teenagers. I firmly agree with this notion. In this essay, I will elucidate the numerous merits of making excursions. To begin with, there are various reasons to advocate why travelling is beneficial. Firstly, youngsters learn to assimilate with a diverse variety of masses. While visiting different countries, one can learn to fit with the unfamiliar atmosphere and adapt to changes. Besides this, they are likely to obtain an abundance of knowledge about local culture and tradition; moreover, by exploring historical tourist spots, young people can be expertly in history. To exemplify, in Ethiopia, a plethora of universities arranges an international expedition in the final academic year to teach students about the great history of the world. Thus, pupils became a well-rounded person in society. Another point worth considering is the opportunity to learn new languages. It is irrefutably true that the language barrier is one of the immense issues for youth. Therefore, travelling helps them to overcome this daunting task by socializing with many different individuals. Furthermore, it enables them to obtain the desired job or business opportunities, which would elevate their life standard. Conversation with fellow travellers would increase their chance to embark on their professional life as every youngster is an aspirant worker or businessman. For instance, a renowned business tycoon Mr. Jeff Bezoz, the CEO of Amazon, started his online business with the help of his co-traveller, which turned his life drastically. In conclusion, since travelling has several upsides, young people should indulge themselves in such activities to reap the benefits. It is suggested that parents should allow their children to explore the world in their teenage.
In the era of modernization, the trend towards
travelling
is
exponentially
growing.
Therefore
,
some
opine that explores
different
nations provides tremendous benefits to
teenagers
. I
firmly
agree
with this notion. In this essay, I will elucidate the numerous merits of making excursions.

To
begin
with, there are various reasons to advocate why
travelling
is beneficial.
Firstly
, youngsters learn to assimilate with a diverse variety of masses. While visiting
different
countries, one can learn to fit with the unfamiliar atmosphere and adapt to
changes
.
Besides
this, they are likely to obtain an abundance of knowledge about local culture and tradition;
moreover
, by exploring historical tourist spots, young
people
can be
expertly
in history. To exemplify, in Ethiopia, a plethora of universities arranges an international expedition in the final academic year to teach students about the great history of the world.
Thus
, pupils became a well-rounded person in society.

Another point worth considering is the opportunity to learn new languages. It is
irrefutably
true that the language barrier is one of the immense issues for youth.
Therefore
,
travelling
helps
them to overcome this daunting task by socializing with
many
different
individuals.
Furthermore
, it enables them to obtain the desired job or business opportunities, which would elevate their life standard. Conversation with fellow
travellers
would increase their chance to embark on their professional life as every youngster is an aspirant worker or businessman.
For instance
, a renowned business tycoon Mr. Jeff
Bezoz
, the CEO of Amazon,
started
his online business with the
help
of his
co-traveller
, which turned his life
drastically
.

In conclusion
, since
travelling
has several upsides, young
people
should indulge themselves in such activities to reap the benefits. It
is suggested
that parents should
allow
their children to explore the world in their teenage.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay young people traveling to different countries benefit them. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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