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Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful then in the past. why it is so and suggest solutions? v.1

Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful then in the past. why it is so and suggest solutions? v. 1
It is indeed that the behaviour of the younger generation has changed dramatically from that observed in the past. The technology and the social lifestyle have a detrimental effect on their psyche. The essay will discuss the root cause of the above notion along with the remedies to curb it. To begin with, the responsible factors for the arrogant behaviour of the pupils are the lack of family bonding and exploitation of the technology. Although, the people have the high standard of living, they could not devote an ample time with their adolescents. In major urban areas, both the parents are working; hence, they cannot guide and supervise their children. As a result, the youngsters having a lack of family care are prone to be less humble and respectful. Moreover, the technology has played a crucial role in the declining of moral values in the children. For instance, the violent and crime based broadcasts on TV and the internet has influenced a lot to the youth. By imitating such things, they become less sensitive to human feelings. However, these detrimental effects on child psychology can be prevented by their parents and tutors. Firstly, the parents have to spend more time with their adolescents and form a strong emotional bonding. Furthermore, the parents and teachers should inculcate the moral values to the pupils; which make them polite and respectful. Lastly, the use of the digitization of the youngsters should be monitored and restricted by their parents. Thus, the negative effects of the virtual world could be filtered out. For example, the psychology graduates had conducted the survey that revealed that the exploitation of the violent video game made the child short tempered and insensitive. In conclusion, it is essential that the tutors and the guardians have to mould their younger ones to be a sensible and kind citizens. The proper care and emotional contact with family could prevent the sabotage psyche of the child. Such a practice is beneficial to the sustainable growth of the pupils.
It is
indeed
that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the younger generation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
from that observed in the past. The technology and the social lifestyle have a detrimental effect on their psyche. The essay will discuss the root cause of the above notion along with the remedies to curb it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the responsible factors for the arrogant
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the pupils are the lack of family bonding and exploitation of the technology. Although, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the high standard of living, they could not devote an ample time with their adolescents. In major urban areas, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working;
hence
, they cannot guide and supervise their children.
As a result
, the youngsters having a lack of family care are prone to be less humble and respectful.
Moreover
, the technology has played a crucial role in the declining of moral values in the children.
For instance
, the violent and crime based broadcasts on TV and the internet has influenced a lot to the youth. By imitating such things, they become less sensitive to human feelings.

However
, these detrimental effects on child psychology can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and tutors.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more time with their adolescents and form a strong emotional bonding.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers should inculcate the moral values to the pupils; which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them polite and respectful.
Lastly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the digitization of the youngsters should
be monitored
and restricted by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of the virtual world could
be filtered
out.
For example
, the psychology graduates had conducted the survey that revealed that the exploitation of the violent video game made the child short tempered and insensitive.

In conclusion
, it is essential that the tutors and the guardians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
their younger ones to be a sensible and kind citizens. The proper care and emotional contact with family could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the sabotage psyche of the child. Such a practice is beneficial to the sustainable growth of the pupils.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful then in the past. why it is so and suggest solutions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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