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Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and the society. Do you agree or disagree. Give your opinion. v.1

Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and the society. Give your opinion. v. 1
There is no doubt that travelling has many benefits, not only to an individual but also to the society. Now a days many young people are interested in travelling to other countries. It will help to develop their overall attitude. I completely agree with this statement and in this essay I will support my view with examples. To begin with, travelling has many benefits to our younger generation. In recent years, many people are interested in travelling to other countries for experiencing new things like their culture and languages. For example, young people can get an opportunity to meet many persons in the particular country and they can discuss about various things that is more prevalent in that country. Through this communication, people get an idea about job opportunities and also about developing sectors. This would help young ones to adapt various cultures, languages etc. . To continue, society also gets many benefits from travelling. Through visiting many countries, many people get in touch with the new technologies that is miler common as well as useful in countries. Younger generations can introduce various technologies in our community by using the ideas gained from their research and implement it in our country. For Example, many electronic devices used in our society are very harmful to our health, because it emits a lot of radiation and damaged our body. But through the thorough study takes place about devices by consulting the specialists in another country, we can get an idea about the problems and solutions to solve the major issues. Also, we can introduce various technologies in our society that is more useful in other nations, in order to reduce the harmful effects produced by the electronic devices. To wind up, individuals get a lot of benefits means of travelling to many countries. It will help our society as a whole
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to an individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop their
overall
attitude. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and in this essay I will support my view with examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to our younger generation. In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for experiencing new things like their culture and languages.
For example
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
persons in the particular
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
they can discuss about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
things
that is
more prevalent in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Through this communication,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about job opportunities and
also
about developing sectors. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
young ones to adapt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
cultures, languages etc.
Two consecutive dots
.


To continue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. Through visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with the new technologies
that is
miler common
as well
as useful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Younger generations can introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
technologies in our community by using the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
gained from their research and implement it in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For Example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
electronic devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful to our health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it emits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
radiation and damaged our body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
through the thorough study takes place about devices by consulting the specialists in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the problems and solutions to solve the major issues.
Also
, we can introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
technologies in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that is
more useful in other nations, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the harmful effects produced by the electronic devices.

To wind up, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
whole
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and the society. Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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