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Task 1: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people enjoy life more than older people do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Task 1: Young people enjoy life more than older people do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
The importance of public libraries is debatable. Some believe that it is a wastage of the tax money, whereas others believe that public libraries are intellectual asset and should be free of cost to the general public. This essay will discuss both sides of the arguments in detail and provide evidence as to why public libraries are valuable and should be accessible to all. To begin with, public libraries provide a learning environment to the people of all ages. Think of a resource, a printed media, e-media, newspapers or if someone wants to have group discussions, public libraries facilitates in all aspects. For example, a student wants to do after school study and could not find a quiet place to concentrate with all required help material. Her comes the importance of a public library. Libraries not only provides the quiet place to concentrate, but also give access to a variety of support materials. On the contrary, some believe that schools and colleges do have libraries and they do facilitate their students in every possible way. Secondly, every information is on the internet these days. Very few still refer to the printed media, hence keeping a big space for that obsolete resource is a wastage of public money and that money can be redirected in other useful activities. For instance, if someone wants to concentrate on a particular task and wants a private space, there are plenty of cafe's where people go and work without any disturbance. I strongly support the presence of the public libraries and their free accessibility. It is not just the environment, but provides a unilateral platform / a space which is available to everyone regardless of their age, their associated college or university. Moreover, there are still plenty of people who prefer printed media over the internet. In particular, I have seen a lot of elderly adults reading newspapers, discussing politics and present issues with each other. In my opinion, how can we forget about them? Public libraries are valuable to them as well. To conclude, I firmly believe that public libraries are adding value to our society. By giving them access to everyone without any monetary value is like investing in the people of the community. It is by far the appropriate use of the public funds.
The importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries is debatable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is a wastage of the tax money, whereas others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are intellectual asset and should be free of cost to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.

This essay will discuss both sides of the arguments in detail and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
evidence as to why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are valuable and should be accessible to all.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a learning environment to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Think
of a resource, a printed media, e-media, newspapers or if someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to have group discussions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries facilitates in all aspects.
For example
, a student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to do after school study and could not find a quiet place to concentrate with all required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
material.
Did you mean "I", "He", "She", or "They"?
Her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the importance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
library. Libraries not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
the quiet place to concentrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give access to a variety of support materials.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that schools and colleges do have
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
libraries and
they do facilitate their students in every possible way.
Secondly
, every information is on the internet these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
few
still
refer to the printed media,
hence
keeping a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
space for that obsolete resource is a wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
money and that money can
be redirected
in other useful activities.
For instance
, if someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to concentrate on a particular task and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
a private space, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
's where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go and work without any disturbance.

I
strongly
support the presence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries and their free accessibility. It is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
a unilateral platform / a space which is available to everyone regardless of their age, their associated college or university.
Moreover
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer printed media over the internet.
In particular
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
elderly adults reading newspapers, discussing politics and present issues with each other. In my opinion, how can we forget about them?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
libraries are valuable to them
as well
.

To conclude
, I
firmly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are adding value to our society. By giving them access to everyone without any monetary value is like investing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the community. It is by far the appropriate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
funds.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 1: Young people enjoy life more than older people do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
382 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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