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News media is important in our society. Why is it so important? Do you think its influence is generally positive or negative? v.1

News media is important in our society. Why is it so important? Do you think its influence is generally positive or negative? v. 1
The news media has gained a lot of importance in our society. Through News media we come to know about the daily issues of the community. The news is readily available through newspapers, magazines, television, radio and the internet. Each and every media is a powerful medium, in itself. I personally feel that there is a positive impact of news on people. News help people to learn something new every day. In addition to that it helps people to develop an open and critical mind. As a citizen of a country we all should be aware of our country's economic situation, sports, games which are very well provided through news media and not only one's country news, News about the whole world is presented. Probing further, we can say News allows us to have a broader understanding of local, national and international affairs. News is not only limited educational purpose. It has also come up as the source of entertainment. We can get to know about the release date of the new films and what's going on in the lives of our favourite film stars. However, there are other aspects too, whereas on one hand News is considered as a medium through which we come to know about the economic situation of our country but nowadays the focus of the News has shifted to some less important aspects such as news about film stars are coming to light instead of some serious issues. All in all, I strongly feel that the news media play a crucial role in the society. Internet has emerged as a strong medium of news. Because of news media more awareness is spread among the masses, especially the youth of the country is more enlightened.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
importance in our society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the daily issues of the community. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is
readily
available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
newspapers, magazines, television, radio and the internet. Each and every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "medium"?
media
is a powerful medium, in itself. I
personally
feel that there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

News
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to learn something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
every day.
In addition
to that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to develop an open and critical mind. As a citizen of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
we all should be aware of our country's economic situation, sports, games which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
about the whole world
is presented
.

Probing
further
, we can say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to have a broader understanding of local, national and international affairs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited educational purpose. It has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up as the source of entertainment. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the release date of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
films and what's going on in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of our
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
film stars.

However
, there are other aspects too, whereas on one hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
is considered
as a medium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the economic situation of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays the focus of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
has shifted to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about film stars are coming to light
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious issues.

All in all, I
strongly
feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
play a crucial role in the society. Internet has emerged as a strong medium of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
more awareness
is spread
among the masses,
especially
the youth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is more enlightened.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay News media is important in our society. Why is it so important? Do you think its influence is generally positive or negative? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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