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you work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letterExplain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six monthsSay how your wo v.2

you work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letterExplain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six monthsSay how your wo v. 2
Many adults move from rural areas to urban areas for work or higher studies. The most common reasons behind this migration are career growth and better job opportunity in bigger cities. In my opinion, there are many pros, which include higher income and quality education of this migration as compare to cons, which consist of old parents force to stay alone. To begin with, there are limited schools and almost no options for higher studies in rural areas. Therefore, students who want higher education have no option rather than to move to urban areas. Secondly, there are also limited resources of earning in a small town and people are not able to fulfil basic needs of their families. So, people move to big cities for higher income. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey in rural areas in India, an average income per person is very low and these areas do not have any option of higher studies for example universities education. Thus, youths are forced to migrate to big cities. In my opinion, this move has many advantages which outweigh the disadvantages. To begin with advantages, people who move to bigger cities have better work opportunities. Therefore, they can earn more and send this money to their families, so they can fulfil their basic needs. Secondly, students get better educational infrastructure and can pursue higher studies and become successful. But this migration has some cons as well, suchsuch as people who move to other cities have to leave their old parents alone and they would not be there when parents needed them. To conclude, people move from one city to another due to many reasons such as better work options and higher education but it has some minor disadvantages like relatives stay behind alone. In my opinion, better education and earning enough for fulfil basic needs are essential so the advantages of migration outweigh the disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
from rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for work or higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. The most common reasons behind this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
are career growth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job opportunity in bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. In my opinion, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros, which include higher income and quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
as compare to cons, which consist of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
parents force
Did you mean "staying"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'force' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to stay
alone.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there
are limited
schools and almost no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Therefore
, students who want higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
rather
than to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Secondly
, there are
also
limited resources of earning in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to fulfil basic needs of their families.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for higher income. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in India, an average income per person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
for example
universities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Thus
, youths
are forced
to migrate to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.

In my opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages which outweigh the disadvantages. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
work opportunities.
Therefore
, they can earn more and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
this money to their families,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can fulfil their basic needs.
Secondly
, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
educational infrastructure and can pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and become successful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cons
as well
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
suchsuch
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
parents
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
alone and
they would not be there when parents needed them.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
from one city to another due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
and higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor disadvantages like relatives stay behind alone. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for fulfil basic needs are essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
outweigh the disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay you work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letterExplain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six monthsSay how your wo v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • you work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letterExplain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six monthsSay how your wo v.2