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You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it v.1

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it v. 1
Dear Mr Siva, I am writing to express my thoughts in working at our company headquarters in Canada for a few months to further enhance my skills and get experience to the Canadian products of our organization so that I can better contribute to my firm and carry out my responsibilities more efficiently. Also, I will get a plethora of international knowledge which will put me one step ahead of all other Indian employees. Also, I assure you that, I will contribute more to the team as I come back to India. As you know, I have been recently promoted to the Technical product architect post and I am working hard to collaborate with my team to enhance the product architecture and increase our brand reputation by supporting multi-tenant applications and software. However, I have been feeling the need to meet and collaborate with our global team members and attend software architecture training sessions that our head workplace in Canada arranges every week. I am quite positive that the opportunity to endeavour in our company’s head office for six months or more will further enhance my knowledge and give me an exposure to the world-wide task-force. I have spoken to Sudhakar and he has agreed to take up my responsibilities during my absence; ideally it will be just one day, as I will be travelling on weekends only. Furthermore, I will check my emails hourly, and be available for emergency phone calls over Skype. Once I get back to the office, I would strive to work extra hours in order to catch up on anything I had missed. Finally, I would need your support to get approval and for edification of mine so that I can work in our company’s head office for six months or more and fulfil the objectives. I look forward to your positive reply. Yours sincerely, Sumant
Dear Mr Siva,

I am writing to express my thoughts in working at our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
headquarters in Canada for a few months to
further
enhance my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience to the Canadian products of our organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can better contribute to my firm and carry out my responsibilities more
efficiently
.
Also
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a plethora of international knowledge which will put me one step ahead of all other Indian employees.
Also
, I assure you that, I will contribute more to the team as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to India.

As you know, I have been recently promoted to the Technical product architect post and I am working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to collaborate with my team to enhance the product architecture and increase our brand reputation by supporting multi-tenant applications and software.
However
, I have been feeling the need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and collaborate with our global team members and attend software architecture training sessions that our head workplace in Canada arranges every week. I am quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
that the opportunity to
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s head office for six months or more will
further
enhance my knowledge and give me an exposure to the world-wide task-force.

I have spoken to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Sudhakar and
he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to take up my responsibilities during my absence;
ideally
it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one day, as I will be travelling on weekends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Furthermore
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
my emails hourly, and be available for emergency phone calls over Skype. Once I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to the office, I would strive to work extra hours in order to catch up on anything I had missed.

Finally
, I would need your support to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
approval and for edification of mine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can work in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s head office for six months or more and fulfil the objectives.

I look forward to your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
reply.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sumant
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it v. 1

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
310 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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