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You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it v.1

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it v. 1
Dear Mr Siva, I am writing to express my thoughts in working at our company headquarters in Canada for a few months to further enhance my skills and get experience to the Canadian products of our organization so that I can better contribute to my firm and carry out my responsibilities more efficiently. Also, I will get a plethora of international knowledge which will put me one step ahead of all other Indian employees. Also, I assure you that, I will contribute more to the team as I come back to India. As you know, I have been recently promoted to the Technical product architect post and I am working hard to collaborate with my team to enhance the product architecture and increase our brand reputation by supporting multi-tenant applications and software. However, I have been feeling the need to meet and collaborate with our global team members and attend software architecture training sessions that our head workplace in Canada arranges every week. I am quite positive that the opportunity to endeavour in our company’s head office for six months or more will further enhance my knowledge and give me an exposure to the world-wide task-force. I have spoken to Sudhakar and he has agreed to take up my responsibilities during my absence; ideally it will be just one day, as I will be travelling on weekends only. Furthermore, I will check my emails hourly, and be available for emergency phone calls over Skype. Once I get back to the office, I would strive to work extra hours in order to catch up on anything I had missed. Finally, I would need your support to get approval and for edification of mine so that I can work in our company’s head office for six months or more and fulfil the objectives. I look forward to your positive reply. Yours sincerely, Sumant
Dear Mr Siva,

I am writing to express my thoughts in working at our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
headquarters in Canada for a few months to
further
enhance my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience to the Canadian products of our organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can better contribute to my firm and carry out my responsibilities more
efficiently
.
Also
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a plethora of international knowledge which will put me one step ahead of all other Indian employees.
Also
, I assure you that, I will contribute more to the team as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to India.

As you know, I have been recently promoted to the Technical product architect post and I am working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to collaborate with my team to enhance the product architecture and increase our brand reputation by supporting multi-tenant applications and software.
However
, I have been feeling the need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and collaborate with our global team members and attend software architecture training sessions that our head workplace in Canada arranges every week. I am quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
that the opportunity to
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s head office for six months or more will
further
enhance my knowledge and give me an exposure to the world-wide task-force.

I have spoken to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Sudhakar and
he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to take up my responsibilities during my absence;
ideally
it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one day, as I will be travelling on weekends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Furthermore
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
my emails hourly, and be available for emergency phone calls over Skype. Once I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to the office, I would strive to work extra hours in order to catch up on anything I had missed.

Finally
, I would need your support to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
approval and for edification of mine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can work in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s head office for six months or more and fulfil the objectives.

I look forward to your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
reply.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sumant
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it v. 1

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
310 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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