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You were going to visit a friend or family member out of town, would you prefer to stay at a hotel or their home? Use details and examples to support your explanation v.1

You were going to visit a friend or family member out of town, would you prefer to stay at a hotel or their home? Use details and examples to support your explanation v. 1
Almost all of us have visited a family member or a friend at one point in our lives. It’s an important thing to do in order to maintain our relationships with the people whom we love and care about. Although staying with a family member or a friend while visiting can be great, because you can spend more time with those people and perhaps you can save money. Personally, I would prefer to stay at a hotel and that is for two important reasons. First, it will be more comfortable for me. When you stay at someone’s house, you won’t feel like you can do whatever you want even if those people are so close to you. For example, three years ago I visited my best friend nada in the United Arab Emirates. She was staying with her sister’s family. They were very nice people and they tried to make me feel like I was one of them, but still I couldn’t feel like I can act as it was my own house. I couldn’t stay up late like I usually do, or watch television anytime I wanted. I felt shy so many times to ask them for help doing something, like driving me to the store to get some things because it was far and I knew they wouldn’t have just let me call a cab. This experience taught me that it’s better to stay at a hotel when you are visiting someone because you will be more relaxed. Second, it would also be less stressful for the person that I am visiting. When you stay at someone’s house, it changes their daily routine because now they have you among them, and they have to consider that. For instance, when I stayed at my friend’s house in United Arab Emirates, I noticed how those people had to make some changes in their plans. Her sister had to postpone a little trip she wanted to take to Dubai because she thought it wouldn’t be nice to leave when I arrived at their house. I was trying to get out of the house more with my friend because I didn’t want her sister to have the burden of cooking for me. As you can see, staying with someone can interrupt their routine. In conclusion, some people would prefer to stay with family or friends when visiting a place, I would prefer to stay at a hotel. It is more comfortable for me because I can make my own schedule. Also, it’s less stressful for the people I am planning to visit because there is no pressure for them to change their plans. I believe that when we decide to stay at a friend or a family member’s house, we should always consider the advantages and disadvantges of that decision for both ourselves and that person in order to make the best out of that visit.
Almost all of us have visited a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
at one point in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It’s an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing to do in order to maintain our relationships with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whom we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care about. Although staying with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
while visiting can be great,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can spend more time with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and perhaps you can save money.
Personally
, I would prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at a hotel and
that is
for two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons.

First
, it will be more comfortable for me. When you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, you won’t feel like you can do whatever you want even if those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
close to you.
For example
, three years ago I visited my best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Possible spelling mistake found.
nada
in the United Arab Emirates. She was staying with her sister’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. They were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nice
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they tried to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
me feel like I was one of them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
I couldn’t feel like I can act as it was my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. I couldn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
up late like I
usually
do, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television anytime I wanted. I felt shy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times to ask them for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to do" or "do".
doing
something, like driving me to the store to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was far and I knew they wouldn’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me call a cab. This experience taught me that it’s better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at a hotel when you are visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you will be more relaxed.

Second, it would
also
be less stressful for the person that I am visiting. When you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
their daily routine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have you among them, and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider that.
For instance
, when I stayed at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Arab Emirates".
in United Arab Emirates
, I noticed how those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their plans. Her sister had to postpone a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
trip she wanted to take to Dubai
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it wouldn’t be nice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
when I arrived at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. I was trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
more with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I didn’t want her sister to have the burden of cooking for me. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, staying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
can interrupt their routine.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
when visiting a place, I would prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at a hotel. It is more comfortable for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
schedule.
Also
, it’s less stressful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
I am planning to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no pressure for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their plans. I believe that when we decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, we should always consider the advantages and
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadvantges
of that decision for both ourselves and that person in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the best out of that visit.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay You were going to visit a friend or family member out of town, would you prefer to stay at a hotel or their home? Use details and examples to support your explanation v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
484 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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