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Do agree or disagree/it is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v.1

Do agree or disagree/it is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v. 1
Education plays a pivotal role in our lives. It broadens our opportunity to land a good job, and it determines our success. So we need to take a lot of academic subjects to be sure that we have a lot of knowledge. It is a highly debated issue whether or not having broad knowledge of many academic subjects is better that specialize in one specific subject, and this topic can be approached from many angles due to its complexity. Deeply deliberating over the issue, I believe that it is better to have broad knowledge and the following discussion reveals my stand and reasoning. First, students would get a lot of information and expand their education to variety of fields. In order to understand all academic subjects, we should increase our information since each subject related to others in many fields. Take myself as an example, when I was in pharmacy school, I took plenty of academic subjects and I thrived in my college. In fact, I got a good grades in all my subjects because each subject correlated to other subject. Actually, I studied pathology which the science that deals with diseases and the causes, In addition, I took clinical pharmacy which is related to drugs such as indication, side effects, precaution and drug food interaction. One of the chapter in clinical pharmacy talks about how paracetomol which is a drug used for headache causes a diseases called crohns diseases. In the class, nobody knew about this disease but I did since I took it in the pathology. This experience taught me that students should take variety of subjects to create a good platform for their education. Second, studying many subjects would motivate students to study hard and then they could focus on one of them. Through taking an idea about all other subjects, students will be able to be motivated since studying one subject would be boring for them, especially if that subject is not interesting. Take my brother as an example, he focused on his study in biology and he told that this class in tough and he is not interested. Frankly, I suggested to him to add another acadimic subject and he added history. According to my brother, he was very motivated to study history and biology since he found something excitiong in his education and this helped him out to get good grades. As we can clearly see, students should be motivated by taking many academic subjects. By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I firmly concur that it is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. Students should pay attention for their education since it is worthwhile and specious for their future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
plays a pivotal role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It broadens our opportunity to land a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job, and it determines our success.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we need to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to be sure that we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. It is a
highly
debated issue
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
having broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is better that specialize in one specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, and this topic can
be approached
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
angles due to its complexity.
Deeply
deliberating over the issue, I believe that it is better to have broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and the following discussion reveals my stand and reasoning.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information and expand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to variety of fields. In order to understand all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, we should increase our information since each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
related to others in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields. Take myself as an example, when I was in pharmacy school, I took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and I thrived in my college. In fact, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
grades in all my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
correlated to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. Actually, I studied pathology which the science that deals with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and the causes,
In addition
, I took clinical pharmacy which
is related
to drugs such as indication, side effects, precaution and drug food interaction. One of the chapter in clinical pharmacy talks about how
Possible spelling mistake found.
paracetomol
which is a drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for headache causes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
called
Possible spelling mistake found.
crohns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, nobody knew about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I did since I took it in the pathology. This experience taught me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should take variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
platform for their education.

Second, studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
would motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hard and
then they could focus on one of them. Through taking an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be able to
be motivated
since studying one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
would be boring for them,
especially
if that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is not interesting. Take my brother as an example, he focused on his study in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
biology and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tough and
he is not interested.
Frankly
, I suggested to him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
another
Possible spelling mistake found.
acadimic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subject and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
history. According to my brother, he was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
motivated to study history and biology since he found something
Possible spelling mistake found.
excitiong
in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
grades. As we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be motivated
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects.

By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I
firmly
concur that it is better to have broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
than to specialize in one specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
should pay attention for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
since it is worthwhile and specious for their future.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Do agree or disagree/it is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
460 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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