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You successfully passed a job interview You have to join by 15th November but you will not be able to do so Write a letter to your new boss In your letter explain your situation express your concerns suggest solutions v.1

You successfully passed a job interview You have to join by 15th November but you will not be able to do so Write a letter to your new boss In your letter explain your situation express your concerns suggest solutions v. 1
When the issue of modern technology domes into view, there exist conflicting opinions. Some people claim that human should lead a simpler life to tackle environmental issue due to the threat that innovative technology are posing on pristine environment, while others adopt an opposing view that advances in technology is a contributing factor to address environmental catastrophe. Each side has its own merits, which will be outlined below. On the one hand, it goes without saying that relying less on technological advancements can minimise the risk of environment-related problems. First and foremost, opting to walk or cycle rather than driving gives a helping hand in cutting down on emission. To be more specific, private vehicles is believed to discharge a substantial amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, which has proven to be the main culprit of global warming and ozone depletion. If commuters stoping using vehicles that leave a massive carbon footprint, human beings will be able to reduce environmental degradation. Moreover, the less inhabitants use household facilities that consume copious amounts of energy, the more environmentally friendly their lifestyle will be. To be more specific, excessive consumption of air conditioning and television requires a mass production of fossil fuel, which takes a toll on natural systems. This directly suggests that On the other hand, it is a foregone conclusion that the development of green technologies plays a pivotal role in environmental protection. First of all, thanks to state-of-the-art technologies, people now could develop eco-friendly transports powered by alternative energy sources without causing greenhouse gas emissions. For example, in Japan, most people could go to work by hybrid cars or solar-powered buses. Last but not least, thanks to advances in waste treatment technologies is the golden key to tackle the world’s waste crisis. For instance, biodegradable products help significantly reduce household wastes, or industrial zones and factories could alleviate water contamination by installing modern wastewater treatment systems. In conclusion, although I acknowledge that having a simple life with less sophisticated technology could mitigate environmental deterioration, I would contend that it is the development of technology that helps solve these serious problems.
When the issue of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
domes into view, there exist conflicting opinions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that human should lead a simpler life to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issue due to the threat that innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are posing on pristine environment, while others adopt an opposing view that advances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a contributing factor to address
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
catastrophe. Each side has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits, which will
be outlined
below.

On the one hand, it goes without saying that relying less on technological advancements can
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of environment-related problems.
First
and foremost, opting to walk or cycle
rather
than driving gives a helping hand in cutting down on emission. To be more specific, private vehicles
is believed
to discharge a substantial amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, which has proven to be the main culprit of global warming and ozone depletion. If commuters
Possible spelling mistake found.
stoping
using vehicles that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a massive carbon footprint, human beings will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
degradation.
Moreover
, the
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun inhabitants is countable.
less
inhabitants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
household facilities that consume copious amounts of energy, the more
environmentally
friendly their lifestyle will be. To be more specific, excessive consumption of air conditioning and television requires a mass production of fossil fuel, which takes a toll on natural systems. This
directly
suggests
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
that


On the other hand
, it is a foregone conclusion that the development of green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
plays a pivotal role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, thanks to state-of-the-art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
could develop eco-friendly transports powered by alternative energy sources without causing greenhouse gas emissions.
For example
, in Japan, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could go to work by hybrid cars or solar-powered buses. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, thanks to advances in waste treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
is the golden key to tackle the world’s waste crisis.
For instance
, biodegradable products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
household wastes, or industrial zones and factories could alleviate water contamination by installing modern wastewater treatment systems.

In conclusion
, although I acknowledge that having a simple life with less sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
deterioration, I would contend that it is the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
solve these serious problems.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay You successfully passed a job interview You have to join by 15th November but you will not be able to do so Write a letter to your new boss In your letter explain your situation express your concerns suggest solutions v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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