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You should spend about 40 minutes on this taskCelebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy To what extent v.1

Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy 1
In many counties, it is believed that a clean home is where God likes to live. Some people think that it is necessary to keep you surrounded tidy. In addition, office culture also needs to be keeping the office organized and an item to the appropriate location. The essay is going to narrate importance of it and conclude with an opinion. To begin with, neat house does not allow harmful bacteria and keeps peoples' health. Dust and debris tend to attract germs. It could become places to grow preys. If there are any unused vegetables lying around, it can attract bees and ants, which could grow into a major station of bacteria. In addition, tidy place gives positive vibes and psychological effect. People tend to visit places where they find positive environment. A recent survey in the USA, work force like their clean office and keeps them happy. Moreover, organized place helps to find anything easily. Many people give preferences to keep their desk neat. Firstly, by organizing cabinet, one already knows where to look for which saves time and energy. A lot of logistics companies maintain an online record of goods where simple lookup gives accurate location of the product. So, the business saves money and valuable efforts of their employees. Secondly, correct location of important documents and medicines are handy in an emergency situation. In 2001, Gujarat, a state of India had a dangerous earthquake. We did not have a time to gather any belonging. In that situation, my grandfather’s habit helps us to find passport and travel documents easily. In my opinion, people should be organized wherever they work or live. In the end, it is going to simplify their life.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
counties, it
is believed
that a clean home is where God likes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
you surrounded tidy.
In addition
, office culture
also
needs to be keeping the office organized and an item to the appropriate location. The essay is going to narrate importance of it and conclude with an opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, neat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
harmful bacteria and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keeps
peoples' health. Dust and debris tend to attract germs. It could become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to grow preys. If there are any unused vegetables lying around, it can attract bees and ants, which could grow into a major station of bacteria.
In addition
, tidy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
vibes and psychological effect.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where they find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
environment. A recent survey in the USA, work force like their clean office and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keeps
them happy.

Moreover
, organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to find anything
easily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give preferences to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
their desk neat.
Firstly
, by organizing cabinet, one already knows where to look for which saves time and energy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
logistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
maintain an online record of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
where simple lookup gives accurate location of the product.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the business saves money and valuable efforts of their employees.
Secondly
, correct location of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
documents and medicines are handy in an emergency situation. In 2001, Gujarat, a state of India had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
earthquake. We did not have a time to gather any belonging. In that situation, my grandfather’s habit
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "helps us find"?
helps us to find
passport and travel documents
easily
.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be organized
wherever they work or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, it is going to simplify their life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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