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You should spend about 40 minutes on this taskCelebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy To what extent v.2

Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy 2
Media plays the society' s most important role and is used for mass communication. People are always looking forward to receiving the latest information from different media sources such as television, radio, internet. Because celebrities are the prime members of the entertainment world. They are always targeted by reporters and paparazzi, providing more details about their lives. Whether they should argue about undue press interference in their lives or appreciate their involvement, will be discussed further in this essay. To embark on, there is no denying fact that celebrities always try to grab the press reporter’s attention to be in limelight. The famous people deliberately engage in social activities, endorsements, advertisements to catch the attention of the audience as their career path will go down if they will forget about them. For example, generally when hero and heroines have to promote their movie, they always participate on live television shows and news channels like Kapil Sharma show. On the contrary, prominent artists are human beings and they have the right to enjoy the comfort of their personal life. Always being surrounded by the paparazzi they always have to be extra cautious when going out of their home. Moreover, the media people always interfere in their personal life advertising about the food they eat, foreign places they visit, how they celebrate the festivals? And many more. As a result, they are not able to live a normal life just like the citizens of the nation. For example, sometimes the press reporters cook up false stories about the actors and actresses or poke in their way of living commenting about their clothing and cosmetics in order to increase the TRP of their channel. To conclude, I agree that the people irrespective of their popularity have the right to enjoy one’s own life with their friends and family and the media should respect the boundaries and publish authentic information only after getting their permission.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
plays the
Possible spelling mistake found.
society&
#039; s most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for mass communication.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are always looking forward to receiving the latest information from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
sources such as television, radio, internet.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
celebrities are the prime members of the entertainment world. They are always targeted by reporters and paparazzi, providing more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Whether they should argue about undue press interference in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
or appreciate their involvement, will
be discussed
further
in this essay.

To embark on, there is no denying fact that celebrities always try to grab the press reporter’s attention to be in limelight. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
deliberately
engage in social activities, endorsements, advertisements to catch the attention of the audience as their career path will go down if they will forget about them.
For example
,
generally
when hero and heroines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
promote their movie, they always participate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and news channels like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kapil
Sharma
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.

On the contrary
, prominent artists are human
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
beings and
they have the right to enjoy the comfort of their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Always
being surrounded
by the paparazzi they always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be extra cautious when going out of their home.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always interfere in their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
advertising about the food they eat, foreign places they visit, how they celebrate the festivals? And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
As a result
, they are not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the citizens of the nation.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the press reporters cook up false stories about the actors and actresses or poke in their way of living commenting about their clothing and cosmetics in order to increase the TRP of their channel.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
irrespective of their popularity have the right to enjoy one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with their friends and family and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should respect the boundaries and publish authentic information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after getting their permission.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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