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Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy. with this opinion? v. 2
Being famous should not mean that you give up all right to a private. Although a lot depends on the reason why a person is famous, everyone should be able to enjoy a certain amount of privacy. I believe it is useful to draw a distinction between those who have sought a career in the public eye and those who have not. Prominent performers in film, television and music, for example, have clear chosen a career path that potentially leads to fame. In fact, for many of them, becoming as widely known as possible is a key ambition. Since they have invited the public to focus their attention on them, they should not be too surprised to find that people are interested in gossip or scandal about their private lives. Public attention is not something that you can turn on and off at will. Having said that, even those who seek fame still deserve the protection of the law and the media should be prevented from harassing them. Other public figures, on the other hand, have not chosen to be famous. Members of royal families are born into fame, as are the children of celebrities. Ordinary people in the news often become well-known through no fault of their own. It is my opinion that the media have no right to intrude into these people’s private lives. I would even go so far as to say that I support an extension of the law to guarantee their privacy. The media should be prevented from reporting on things that should be private matters. As the media continue to become more and more powerful in our society, so the question of privacy becomes more important. Everyone deserves a private life, although perhaps some deserve it more than others.
Being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
should not mean that you give up all right to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
. Although a lot depends on the reason why a person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
, everyone should be able to enjoy a certain amount of privacy.

I believe it is useful to draw a distinction between those who have sought a career in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
eye and those who have not. Prominent performers in film, television and music,
for example
, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
chosen a career path that
potentially
leads to fame. In fact, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them, becoming as
widely
known as possible is a key ambition. Since they have invited the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to focus their attention on them, they should not be too surprised to find that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are interested
in gossip or scandal about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
attention is not something that you can turn on and off at will. Having said that, even those who seek fame
still
deserve the protection of the law and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from harassing them.

Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
figures,
on the other hand
, have not chosen to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. Members of royal families
are born
into fame, as are the children of celebrities. Ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
become well-known through no fault of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. It is my opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have no right to intrude into these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I would even go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far as to say that I support an extension of the law to guarantee their privacy. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from reporting on things that should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
matters.

As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
continue to become more and more powerful in our society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the question of privacy becomes more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Everyone deserves a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
life, although perhaps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deserve it more than others.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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