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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement v.2

More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement v. 2
Globalisation has led to an increase in opportunities in many sectors throughout the world. Due to this growth, people have started to move to different countries in search of opportunities and many a times settle there along with their families. Some might think that by promoting such movements, poor countries become deprived of such talents due to rich countries. In this essay, we will discuss that such movements are only a natural way of people settling in different countries based on good opportunities and pay scale. In last few decades, there is an increase in trend to first obtain specialisations in fields such as engineering, computing and medicine and then move to different countries where one can find better employment options. Another reason to trigger this movement is the pay scale that one receives in another country as compared to their own. Some people think that a person is betraying their country by first studying there and then moving to another country for earning. This way they are further degrading the economy of their own country. Instead they should stay in their home nation and devise ways to improve the economy of their own country. One can view this from a different angle as well. Many a times, the profile that an individual is looking for is more available in some other country. For instance, one of my friend had done professional courses in Wild Life Photography, but when it came to earning for a living, all the opportunities he got were mostly from Africa. This highlights one more fact, that while some people might measure opportunities in terms of money, but many others also think that exposure and on-field opportunities are also important. Hence, I think that moving to different countries is only a natural way of settling for an opportunity which one find very appealing and satisfactory.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
has led to an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sectors throughout the world. Due to this growth,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in search of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
settle there along with their families.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that by promoting such movements, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
become deprived of such talents due to rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In this essay, we will discuss that such movements are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a natural way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
settling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
based on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and pay scale.

In last few decades, there is an increase in trend to
first
obtain
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialisations' is British English.
specialisations
in fields such as engineering, computing and medicine and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where one can find better employment options. Another reason to trigger this movement is the pay scale that one receives in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as compared to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that a person is betraying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by
first
studying there and then moving to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for earning. This way they are
further
degrading the economy of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
they should stay in their home nation and devise ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.

One can view this from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
angle
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
, the profile that an individual is looking for is more available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, one of my friend had done professional courses in Wild Life Photography,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when it came to earning for a living, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
were
mostly
from Africa. This highlights one more fact, that while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might measure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in terms of money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that exposure and on-field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Hence
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a natural way of settling for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
which one find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
appealing and satisfactory.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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