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The widespread use if the Internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world? v.2

The widespread use if the Internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world? v. 2
In today' s modern world, it is not wrong to imply that information is power. Over the years, an influx of information from a myriad of sources has remarkably shaped the world as we know it now. A primary source of this information has been the Internet. Internet is defined as an inter connected network if computers all over world sharing and collaborating information. Thus, I would like to discuss a number of ways in which this flood of internet data has impacted our world. First, the internet acts as an instant library in modern times. People are constantly using searhc engines like Google, Bing and Yahoo to quelch their thirst for knowledge about a plethora of subjects. Students are particularly benefited by the wealth of data that is available over a wide range of topics readilly and conveniently. Moreover, most of this data is available at neglible costs as compared to hardbinded books and magazines. Therefore, this free flow of information has led to a consequent increase in inventions and innovations coming from all corners of the society. Second, information availability in terms of real time news and updates has led to a more informed society. Nowadays, people are more aware of their surroundings and in constant touch with their environment. For example, the recent protests about army brutality in Jammu and Kashmir, spread like wildfire and was the talk of the nation for an extended perios of time. Contrast this with the earlier times where such news went past the general public without any uproar. Thirdly, the concept of using information as a powerful resource has given rise to a culture of whistleblowers such as Edward Snowden and WikiLeaks founder Juliane Assange. Both these infamous personalities were ridiculed for their reckless use of information by revealing state and national secrets to the world. Thus, information may not always be beneficial to the people who hold it. Although, the freedom that today' s internet enjoys has its benefits, it definitely has its drawbacks. For instance, there are several reports of accidental leaks of sensitive information that may jeopardize important national projects. More and more people are venting their anger and opinions about anything and everything over the internet using sites such as Twitter, Facebook etc. In conclusion, I would like to emphasize the above points and state that information is capable of both changing and destroyingour world. In recent years, it has really emerged as an important field justifying both its study and promotion on a global level.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to imply that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is power.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Over
the years, an influx of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from a myriad of sources has
remarkably
shaped the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as we know it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. A primary source of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has been the Internet. Internet
is defined
as an
This word is normally spelled as one.
inter connected
network if computers all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
sharing and collaborating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Thus
, I would like to discuss a number of ways in which this flood of internet data has impacted our world.

First
, the internet acts as an instant library in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
constantly
using
Possible spelling mistake found.
searhc
engines like Google, Bing and Yahoo to
Possible spelling mistake found.
quelch
their thirst for knowledge about a plethora of subjects. Students are
particularly
benefited by the wealth of data
that is
available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a wide range of topics
Possible spelling mistake found.
readilly
and
conveniently
.
Moreover
, most of this data is available at
Possible spelling mistake found.
neglible
costs as compared to
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardbinded
books and magazines.
Therefore
, this free flow of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has led to a consequent increase in inventions and innovations coming from all corners of the society.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
availability in terms of real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
news and updates has led to a more informed society. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more aware of their surroundings and in constant touch with their environment.
For example
, the recent protests about army brutality in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jammu
and Kashmir, spread like wildfire and was the talk of the nation for an extended
Possible spelling mistake found.
perios
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Contrast this with the earlier
It is better to use 'times' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "times when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
times where
such news went past the
Consider using "public".
general public
without any uproar.

Thirdly
, the concept of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as a powerful resource has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to a culture of whistleblowers such as Edward Snowden and WikiLeaks founder
Possible spelling mistake found.
Juliane
Possible spelling mistake found.
Assange
. Both these infamous personalities
were ridiculed
for their reckless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
by revealing state and national secrets to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
may not always be beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who hold it.

Although, the freedom that
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s internet enjoys has its benefits, it definitely has its drawbacks.
For instance
, there are several reports of accidental leaks of sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that may jeopardize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
national projects. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are venting their anger and opinions about anything and everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the internet using sites such as Twitter, Facebook etc.

In conclusion
, I would like to emphasize the above points and state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is capable of both changing and
Possible spelling mistake found.
destroyingour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In recent years, it has
really
emerged as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
field justifying both its study and promotion on a global level.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay The widespread use if the Internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world? v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
419 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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