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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Crime rates tend to be higher in cities than in smaller towns. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your v.65

Crime rates tend to be higher in cities than in smaller towns. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions. 65
Our cities are overcrowded with people from different backgrounds and provide an opportunity for people with all intentions. One of the impacts of high population in cities can be seen in the rates of crimes. In my view, we can safely state that the high costs of living and the lack of proper law and order in the cities are the main causes of crimes in the big towns. First of all, villages are small and very few people live there these days. The daily requirement of material things in the countryside is also very low. The costs of living such as rent, costs of transportation are much less in village than in cities. I think this explains why fewer crimes are committed in the villages. On the other hand, people settle down in cities with a lot of hopes and ambitions. They have to struggle daily to meet the basic needs of their families. This means that there will be high financial burden on the people. To meet such challenges, people resort to financial crimes, for instance, corruption, bribery, theft, and robbery in villages. To solve such problems, government needs to enhance the police administration, install cameras on the streets and with the offices. Such measures are likely to help to reduce these crimes to certain extent. Another reason of people mainly youth committing crime is lack of moral principle due to the reason that they are far from their parents and families. Many youths come to city and live alone. They are likely to meet some anti-social elements such as drug dealers, and smugglers. Young minds are likely to be attracted to such crimes to quickly be rich and powerful. This problem can be solved by constant moral counseling. To sum up, the pressure of cost of living, and tendency to be affluent in short time induces people to commit crimes in cities and the solutions to tackle them could be the strengthening of law and order situation.
Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are overcrowded
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds and provide an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with all intentions. One of the impacts of high population in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. In my view, we can
safely
state that the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of living and the lack of proper law and order in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are the main causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
towns.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, villages are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there these days. The daily requirement of material things in the countryside is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of living such as rent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of transportation are much less in village than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are committed
in the villages.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
settle down in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
hopes and ambitions. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle daily to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the basic needs of their families. This means that there will be high financial burden on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
such challenges,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
resort to financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
for instance
, corruption, bribery, theft, and robbery in villages. To solve such problems,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to enhance the police administration, install cameras on the streets and with the offices. Such measures are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to certain extent.

Another reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mainly
youth committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is lack of moral principle due to the reason that they are far from their parents and families.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
youths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to city and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone. They are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
anti-social elements such as drug dealers, and smugglers. Young minds are likely to
be attracted
to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to
quickly
be rich and powerful. This problem can
be solved
by constant moral counseling.

To sum up, the pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of living, and tendency to be affluent in short time induces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and the solutions to tackle them could be the strengthening of law and order situation.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Crime rates tend to be higher in cities than in smaller towns. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions. 65

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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