Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

1 More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes car and other items What are the reasons Do you think it is a positive or negative development v.2

1 More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes car and other items What are the reasons Do you think it is a positive or negative development v. 2
It is often argued that there has been a significant increase in the number of people’s desire for well-known brands with outfit, car and other items. In my opinion, although there are some negative consequences of this trend, it should be considered as a positive development in the society. As more and more people tend to purchase luxurious commodity, several related causes can be anticipated. Firstly, many youngsters do not take into consideration carefully and make impulsive purchase because they want to possess the highest status items, which sometimes can sink them into financial issues. For example, it is a common phenomenon when seeing a woman buying a dress she never wears or a man purchasing a new car on a monthly basis. Secondly, inhabitants tend to live in a consumerism society that they consider only by frittering away a plethora of money for new items can lead to happiness. Furthermore, I strongly believe that buying prevalent brands exerts positive impacts upon people’s lives. It cannot be denied that reputable brands provide customers with high quality products and reliability, resulting in a sense of satisfaction among them. Nike, for instance, has supplied buyers with convenient sneakers for many purposes such as: playing tennis, hiking and running. Also, Iphone is one of the most famous brands worldwide by virtue of its durability and world-class security. Furthermore, more things purchased motivated people to work harder to meet their demands in life. Therefore, they will make a huge contribution to the prosperity and wealth of their nations. In conclusion, although many people think that buying famous brands is harmful, I personally reckon that the advantages of this trend far outweigh the disadvantages.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that there has been a significant increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
desire for well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
with outfit, car and other items. In my opinion, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of this trend, it should
be considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development in the society.

As more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
luxurious commodity, several related causes can
be anticipated
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters do not take into consideration
carefully
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
impulsive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to possess the highest status items, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can sink them into financial issues.
For example
, it is a common phenomenon when seeing a woman buying a dress she never wears or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
purchasing a new car on a monthly basis.
Secondly
, inhabitants tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a consumerism society that they consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by frittering away a plethora of money for new items can lead to happiness.

Furthermore
, I
strongly
believe that buying prevalent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
exerts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It cannot
be denied
that reputable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
provide customers with high quality products and reliability, resulting in a sense of satisfaction among them. Nike,
for instance
, has supplied buyers with convenient sneakers for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purposes such as: playing tennis, hiking and running.
Also
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
worldwide by virtue of its durability and world-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
security.
Furthermore
, more things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work harder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their demands in life.
Therefore
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge contribution to the prosperity and wealth of their nations.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
is harmful, I
personally
reckon that the advantages of this trend far outweigh the disadvantages.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay 1 More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes car and other items What are the reasons Do you think it is a positive or negative development v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts