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Your work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letterExplain why you need this time offgive details of when you want the time offsay who can do your work when you are awayWrite at least v.1

Your work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letterExplain why you need this time offgive details of when you want the time offsay who can do your work when you are awayWrite at least v. 1
Obesity is a rising problem in the world today. The main cause of this problem is unhealthy eating habits and the most viable solution is a public awareness campaign warning people about the dangers of eating junk food. The principal cause of the rise in obesity is the over reliance of junk food by people. Junk food is processed food which is manufactured in mass quantities for quick human consumption. Apart from being tasty, this type of food is often not regulated properly and offers little or no nutritional value to an individual. This results in people to suffer from health problems, such as heart diseases and diabetes, at a very young age. For example, a recent survey by the American Food Association found that 60% people prefer to eat burgers and pizzas from restaurants rather than homemade dishes, because it tastes better than the latter. To tackle this problem the government should launch a publicity campaign in the media and schools to educate people about the dangers of consuming such unhealthy food. Many people do not understand the detrimental health implications of consuming sugar-rich and calorie dense foods. An awareness campaign could shed some light on this difficult situation and enable people to make more informed decisions towards their health. For example, a similar exercise in Japan resulted in a 20% decrease in people reducing their intake of sodas and colas to counter the rampant spread of diabetes across the county. In conclusion, obesity is a major issue that is plaguing our society today that can result in massive health problems in later stages of life, however, it can be addressed by educating people about the dangers.
Obesity is a rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. The main cause of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is unhealthy eating habits and the most viable solution is a public awareness campaign warning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of eating junk food.

The principal cause of the rise in obesity is the over reliance of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
is manufactured
in mass quantities for quick human consumption. Apart from being tasty, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not regulated
properly
and offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no nutritional value to an individual. This results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, such as heart diseases and diabetes, at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.
For example
, a recent survey by the American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
Association found that 60%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to eat burgers and pizzas from restaurants
rather
than homemade dishes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it tastes better than the latter.

To tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should launch a publicity campaign in the media and schools to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of consuming such unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not understand the detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
implications of consuming sugar-rich and calorie dense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. An awareness campaign could shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on this difficult situation and enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more informed decisions towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
, a similar exercise in Japan resulted in a 20% decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reducing their intake of sodas and colas to counter the rampant spread of diabetes across the county.

In conclusion
, obesity is a major issue
that is
plaguing our society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
that can result in massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in later stages of life,
however
, it can
be addressed
by educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Your work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letterExplain why you need this time offgive details of when you want the time offsay who can do your work when you are awayWrite at least v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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