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Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend? v.2

Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend? v. 2
People, with the quality of competitiveness, is highly regarded as a good sign in characters in many communities. This feature influences individuals in several ways, which has both a positive and negative effect on people's life. From my perspective, it is a more positive trend than a negative one. To begin with, competitive individuals are conceited and absorbed. As a result, the people around them, such as at workplaces and other romantic can come into conflict for any matter, as they do not tend to show any compromising attitude towards them. Furthermore, being too much competition means creating an uncomfortable situation in job places, since a competitive person always tries to show their haughtiness in any types of works at offices instead of cordial nature towards colleagues. Therefore, for example, in most companies, workers look for friendly co-workers, convenient, reliable workplaces. In contrast, people who like competition in life, possess a positive trait. Since they want to go ahead in life among competitors, it, invariably, boosts the economic growth of the company in the long run. For instance, it is noticeable in multi-national companies that if a brand of an organization is blooming and demanded by consumers, it is the competitive nature of employees in other companies where a sense of invincible thirst for achieving that popularity works that leads to achieve their targets. What is more, individuals with competitiveness are resilient and unlikely to go back when faced with any setbacks. In conclusion, in communities, there are myriads of people who are competitive, which considers as a positive aspect of life. This quality may sabotage the relationships with family and colleagues at times, while it shows perseverance to gain the goal. In my opinion, the trend of being competitive has eclipsed its negative trends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, with the quality of competitiveness, is
highly
regarded as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
in characters in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communities. This feature influences individuals in several ways, which has both a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. From my perspective, it is a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
trend than a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
one.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
individuals
are conceited
and absorbed.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them, such as at workplaces and other romantic can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into conflict for any matter, as they do not tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
any compromising attitude towards them.
Furthermore
, being too much competition means creating an uncomfortable situation in job places, since a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
person always tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their haughtiness in any types of works at offices
instead
of cordial nature towards colleagues.
Therefore
,
for example
, in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, workers look for friendly co-workers, convenient, reliable workplaces.

In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who like competition in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, possess a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
trait. Since they want to go ahead in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
among competitors, it,
invariably
, boosts the economic growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in the long run.
For instance
, it is noticeable in multi-national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that if a brand of an organization is blooming and demanded by consumers, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
nature of employees in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
where a sense of invincible thirst for achieving that popularity works that leads to achieve their targets.
What is more
, individuals with competitiveness are resilient and unlikely to go back when faced with any setbacks.

In conclusion
, in communities, there are myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
, which considers as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This quality may sabotage the relationships with family and colleagues at times, while it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
perseverance to gain the goal. In my opinion, the trend of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
has eclipsed its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trends.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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