Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Most people enjoy holidays and the travel and tourism is a billion dollar industry. All over the world people are traveling either for business or pleasure or both. People who can afford to or have free time go away frequently for short holidays or on weekends. Others who are working or studying try to take a holiday at least once a year, away from home and work or studies. What are the benefits of travel? Give good reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. v.2

Most people enjoy holidays and the travel and tourism is a billion dollar industry. All over the world people are traveling either for business or pleasure or both. People who can afford to or have free time go away frequently for short holidays or on weekends. Others who are working or studying try to take a holiday at least once a year, away from home and work or studies. What are the benefits of travel? Give good reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. v. 2
What would people do when they get exhausted from their routine life? The best possible solution could be a holiday. Travel and tourism industry has been one of the most emerging industries nowadays. People are travelling either for work or for enjoyment all over the world. While some of them often transit for vacations, others - who don't have such time, go on a trip once or twice a year. This essay will discuss what are the benefits of travel and why we should plan at least one holiday per year. People enjoy holidays because they feel relaxed there. The majority of people - who is working or studying, handle a lot of pressure, stress during their routine activities. Their minds need to be relaxed and free from their stress in order to revitalize and rejuvenate their bodies as well as the mind. For example, according to a research - done by Harvard University, taking up a tour makes a person feel relaxed and rejuvenated 70% higher than before. Enjoying nature, pleasing landscapes, beaches, mountains are the typical examples which can make people happier and mentally healthier. That's why planning a holiday is a necessity. Moreover, in our day to day life, due to our busy schedules, we are not able to spend time with our family or our loved once. Travel gives us that opportunity to spend a quality time in the lap of nature with our friends and family. People don't have to think about their work or their study while outings so that they can totally focus on their personal life. There are a number of activities which can be done over there with family and possibly not at home, namely enjoying adventurous rides; side scenes, having breakfast; lunch and dinner together, etc. It is necessary to leave the routine and make a fresh start and travel does exactly the same. Whether for work or study or for refreshment, people must plan outings because it is advantageous. To re-energize yourself and to enjoy the family moments, I would strongly recommend to plan at least one outing per year.
What would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exhausted from their routine life? The best possible solution could be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travel
and tourism industry has been one of the most emerging industries nowadays.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are travelling either for work or for enjoyment all over the world. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
transit for vacations, others
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
who don't have such time, go on a trip once or twice a year. This essay will discuss what are the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and why we should plan at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
per year.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel relaxed there. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
who is working or studying, handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
during their routine activities. Their minds need to
be relaxed
and free from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in order to revitalize and rejuvenate their bodies
as well
as the mind.
For example
, according to a research
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
done by Harvard University, taking up a tour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person feel relaxed and rejuvenated 70% higher than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Enjoying nature, pleasing landscapes, beaches, mountains are the typical examples which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happier and mentally healthier. That's why planning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
is a necessity.

Moreover
, in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life, due to our busy schedules, we are not able to spend time with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
once.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travel
gives us that opportunity to spend a quality time in the lap of nature with our friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their work or their study while outings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
totally
focus on their personal life. There are a number of activities which can
be done
over there with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
possibly
not at home,
namely
enjoying adventurous rides; side scenes, having breakfast; lunch and dinner together, etc.

It is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the routine and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
does exactly the same. Whether for work or study or for refreshment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
plan outings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is advantageous. To re-energize yourself and to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
moments, I would
strongly
The verb 'recommend' is used with the gerund form: "recommend planning".
recommend to plan
at least one outing per year.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Most people enjoy holidays and the travel and tourism is a billion dollar industry. All over the world people are traveling either for business or pleasure or both. People who can afford to or have free time go away frequently for short holidays or on weekends. Others who are working or studying try to take a holiday at least once a year, away from home and work or studies. What are the benefits of travel? Give good reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts