Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some museums have an admission fee while others are free entry. v.1

Some museums have an admission fee while others are free entry. v. 1
Some museums have an admission fee while others are free entry. In my opinion, museums which free entry will have a chance to have many people travel to there, but an admission fee has given more benefit to the museums because museums can use this money for operation and development. A museum that free entry can raise a number of spectators. If the aim of a museum is showing some traditional or history of something in the country, a museum should free entry. When do not have an admission fee, it attracts people to entry to this museum to study about their country's history. The museum of Siam Commercial Bank, for instance, this museum is showing about the history of banking and money in Thailand. It is free entry for everyone. Granted, a free entry museum can have many spectators, but a museum can receive more benefit from the admission fee. A museums have to spend a lot of money for hiring many professional for doing museum activities. Money from admission fee are necessary for the operation and development. Thailand Ancient Cars museum, for example, this museum has many cars and many professional for maintaining it. If this museum does not have an admission fee for support the operation, it will be close. In conclusion, a museum that does not have an admission fee can have many spectators while an admission fee is important for the operation and development the museum. Therefore, when comparing between the advantage and disadvantage, I am convinced the admission fee gives the benefit to the museum more than free admission.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
while others are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
will have a chance to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel to there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more benefit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
and development.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
can raise a number of spectators. If the aim of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is showing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional or history of something in the country, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
. When do not have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
, it attracts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
to study about their country's history. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
of Siam Commercial Bank,
for instance
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is showing about the history of banking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in Thailand. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
for everyone.

Granted, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
spectators,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can receive more benefit from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for hiring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professional for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
are necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
and development. Thailand Ancient Cars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
,
for example
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cars and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professional for maintaining it. If this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
does not have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
for support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
, it will be close.

In conclusion
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
that does not have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
spectators while an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
and development the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
Therefore
, when comparing between the advantage and disadvantage, I
am convinced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
gives the benefit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some museums have an admission fee while others are free entry. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts