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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: News about problems and emergencies is harmful to individuals and society. Do you agree or disagree? v.10

: News about problems and emergencies is harmful to individuals and society. v. 10
Although, it is an irrefutable fact that news has always been pivotal in every country and helped people gain knowledge in all aspects. Some of them think that being informed of problems and emergencies via news has been a cause of distress among general public. However, I will be discussing why I strongly disagree with this opinion. Even though, news has been a base to enhance our knowledge regarding all sectors like technology, education, politics, economy, entertainment and crimes of different parts of the world, few people get depressed hearing about the issues around. For instance, according to recent analysis 35% of the population gets worried upon watching one of the popular shows Crime Patrol. Moreover, it has negative psychological effects on many people slowing down their progress in life. No matter what, news has been always helpful in bringing awareness among people and to tackle the situations readily by taking necessary measures. For example, it alerts people of present day economy so that it helps citizens to certainly reduce the impacts and risks. It allows people to come up with different ideas and alternatives to overcome the situation. Furthermore, it helps in diminishing the consequences before those obstacles become detrimental. In conclusion, this essay argued that news about different circumstances has been a cause of anxiety and discomfort in community. In my opinion, this can have adverse effects on few but not everyone as it aids us to get updated regarding the ongoing problems in this modern world and come up with solutions to evade these affairs.
Although, it is an irrefutable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has always been pivotal in every country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain knowledge in all aspects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
being informed
of problems and emergencies via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has been a cause of distress among
Consider using "public".
general public
.
However
, I will be discussing why I
strongly
disagree with this opinion.

Even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has been a base to enhance our knowledge regarding all sectors like technology, education, politics, economy, entertainment and crimes of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
depressed hearing about the issues around.
For instance
, according to recent analysis 35% of the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
worried upon watching one of the popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
Crime Patrol.
Moreover
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
psychological effects on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
slowing down their progress in life.

No matter what,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has been always helpful in bringing awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and to tackle the situations
readily
by taking necessary measures.
For example
, it alerts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of present day economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
citizens to
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the impacts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and alternatives to overcome the situation.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in diminishing the consequences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
those obstacles become detrimental.

In conclusion
, this essay argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
circumstances has been a cause of anxiety and discomfort in community. In my opinion, this can have adverse effects on few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not everyone as it aids us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updated regarding the ongoing problems in this modern world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with solutions to evade these affairs.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay : News about problems and emergencies is harmful to individuals and society. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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