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You should spend about 40 minutes on this Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or ex v.2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? 2
Transportation network is vital for a nation for its economic growth. But, when it comes to spending on specific sector, railways or road, it become debatable. I believe both mode of transportation- railway and road- have its own importance, so spending on both sector must be chosen by governments according to their economic needs. To embark on, for intercity transportation, railways plays more important role, as it is cost effective, safe and faster. For instance, transporter can send tons of materials such as coal, machineries etc. via train at reasonably low rate, and can reach destination at lesser time. Therefore, government should emphasis on intercity train transportation. Moreover, pollution caused by train is quite less, as most of the trains are running on electricity as compare to earlier days, when steam engines were used. However, roads are most important for intra-city connectivity because all areas of city cannot be connected by rails. If road conditions are not well inside city or town, then day-to-day communication will be painful. Few may argue that road services create pollution and noise. But, this issue can be regulated with strict law enforcement by government. In fact, areas, which are at high altitude, can only be connected by roads due to geographical complication. To illustrate, Leh - a place in India situated at 16000 ft. from sea level - is only possible to communicate via road. To sum up, as both mode of transportation - rail and road- are important for economic development, heads of the state must priority with equal weightage because both have their own advantages and needs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Transportation
network is vital for a nation for its economic growth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to spending on specific sector, railways or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
, it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
debatable. I believe both mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation-
railway and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road-
have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
spending on both sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be chosen
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
according to their economic needs.

To embark on, for intercity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, railways plays more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role, as it
is cost
effective, safe and faster.
For instance
, transporter can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
tons of materials such as coal,
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
etc. via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
at
reasonably
low rate, and can reach destination at lesser time.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
The word 'emphasis' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
should emphasis
on intercity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
Moreover
, pollution caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
is quite less, as most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are running on electricity as compare to earlier days, when steam engines were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
intra-city
connectivity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all areas of city cannot
be connected
by rails. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
conditions are not well inside city or town, then day-to-day communication will be painful.
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little may".
Few may
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
services create pollution and noise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this issue can
be regulated
with strict law enforcement by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. In fact, areas, which are at high altitude, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be connected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
due to geographical complication. To illustrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leh
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a place in India situated at
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
16000 ft
. from sea level
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible to communicate via road.

To sum up, as both mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
rail and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road-
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for economic development, heads of the state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
priority with equal weightage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and needs.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay You should spend about 40 minutes on this Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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