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You should spend about 20 minutes on this taskThe graph describes average house prices in Sometown in 2005. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown. Write at least 150 wordsDouble Line Graph Average House Prices from Target Ba v.1

The graph describes average house prices in Sometown in 2005. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown. Double Line Graph Average House Prices from Target Ba v. 1
It is considered that greatest present one could ever give to youngsters is cash. However, some people argued otherwise. This essay will tackle both arguments, but in my opinion, it will always depend on the recipients’ personality and needs. One reason why some people believe that giving money as a gift would be best for teens is because these younger generations today often know what they like and what would give them happiness. As a result, they are more excited to receive money so that they can be able to buy what they want or use it for what would benefit them. In addition to that, people think that they could buy some things for their gift, but then, it is possible that these teens would not like that. That is why, it is better to give them money and let them buy and use it for something they prefer. On the other hand, some people argued that when teenagers received money, they might use it for something that would lead them to trouble. In today’s generation, having money to spend with will be favourable to the young people, to be able to meet the trends such as social acceptance and peer pressure, which they try to embrace. Consequently, they could consider spending the money for extensive partying, alcohol, drugs and the like, which undoubtedly have a negative influence on them. Therefore, it is considered that it would be better if people would give them things of value, other than cash, that could rather be useful. In my opinion, while for some teens, they would prefer to receive cash that they can use for themselves, it is still best first to consider the recipient's personality, whether it would be useful to give them money or some other things as a giftIn my opinion, while for some teens, they would prefer to receive cash that they can use for themselves, it is still best first to consider the recipients’ personality whether it would be useful to give them money or some other things as a gift.
It
is considered
that greatest present one could ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
to youngsters is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued
otherwise
. This essay will tackle both arguments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, it will always depend on the recipients’ personality and needs.

One reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a gift would be best for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these younger generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
know what they like and what would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them happiness.
As a result
, they are more excited to receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they want or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for what would benefit them.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things for their gift,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then, it is possible that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
would not like that.
That is
why, it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for something they prefer.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
received
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for something that would lead them to trouble. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to spend with will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
to the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the trends such as social acceptance and peer pressure, which they try to embrace.
Consequently
, they could consider spending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for extensive partying, alcohol, drugs and the like, which
undoubtedly
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on them.
Therefore
, it
is considered
that it would be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them things of value,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
, that could
rather
be useful.

In my opinion, while for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
, they would prefer to receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for themselves, it is
A determiner is probably missing here: "still the best".
still best
first
to consider the recipient's personality, whether it would be useful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
giftIn
my opinion, while for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
, they would prefer to receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for themselves, it is
A determiner is probably missing here: "still the best".
still best
first
to consider the recipients’ personality whether it would be useful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things as a gift.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph describes average house prices in Sometown in 2005. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown. Double Line Graph Average House Prices from Target Ba v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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