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Some people prefer young leaders, while others thinks senior managers have the experience. What do you think? v.1

Some people prefer young leaders, while others thinks senior managers have the experience. What do you think? v. 1
In the introduction, Teaching Mathematics is becoming increasingly controversial. Although Some parents believe it is not essential material, Others say it is mandatory to study it, because anyone would need it later. This essay will discuss these two phases in detail. Four years ago, Math was one of the most important subjects to be taught in either Schools or Universities. Some students' parents think that Math is secondary which involves the student to solve irrelevant mathematical problems. They believe all related subjects such as Algebra, Calculus, and geometry would be beneficial only if their children are interested in engineering or any other Math derivatives. So, Students can make use of time in studying subjects Favorited with them, and they would excel in it. On the other hand, Many parents consider learning Mathematics is basic as well as it will continue to be necessary. They thought of it as a foundational material; Their children should be aware of, Even if they would specialize in different major But, They will need it in their future. For Example, A person could find it offensive if he could not solve a simple multiplication process. Besides, Uses of math vary also, It is necessary to apply in life situations. In conclusion, Both sides have their perspective of supporting Math as a mandatory subject or it is redundant. Based on their opinions, They should bear the consequences. Whereas, society will be affected if some of its citizens are going to have a lack of a subject, As well as skill, like mathematics. This essay discussed both sides which depict the seriousness of the matter in addition to its effectiveness in the long turn.
In the introduction, Teaching Mathematics is becoming
increasingly
controversial. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents believe it is not essential material, Others say it is mandatory to study it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
anyone would need it later. This essay will discuss these two phases in detail.

Four years ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Math
was one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to
be taught
in either Schools or Universities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
students' parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Math
is secondary which involves the student to solve irrelevant mathematical problems. They believe all related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as Algebra, Calculus, and geometry would be beneficial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if their children
are interested
in engineering or any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Math
derivatives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, Students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of time in studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
Possible spelling mistake found.
Favorited
with them, and they would excel in it.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents consider learning Mathematics is basic
as well
as it will continue to be necessary. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of it as a foundational material; Their children should be aware of, Even if they would specialize in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, They will need it in their future.
For Example
, A person could find it offensive if he could not solve a simple multiplication process.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Uses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
vary
also
, It is necessary to apply in life situations.

In conclusion
, Both sides have their perspective of supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Math
as a mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
or it is redundant. Based on their opinions, They should bear the consequences. Whereas, society will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of its citizens are going to have a lack of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
,
As well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, like mathematics. This essay discussed both sides which depict the seriousness of the matter
in addition
to its effectiveness in the long turn.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer young leaders, while others thinks senior managers have the experience. What do you think? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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