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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecti v.24

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.
In recent times, crime has become the global issue and is increasing at an alarming rate. In this essay, I will examine some factors contributing to this problem and will also suggest some solutions for the same. There are several reasons for the increase in crime level. One of the reasons that is often given is the increasing gap between the rich and the poor. One good illustration of this is that the people who are in dire need are bound to steal for their livelihood. Furthermore, illegal activities such as consumption of drugs have also contributed a lot in enhancing the chaos level around the globe. For instance, According to recent news reports, in many countries like Mexico and, Iran, drug addiction has contributed significantly in enhancing violence levels. Finally, although not a major cause, but violence in television and game is also a contributing factor to violence. However, solutions are available to tackle this problem. Firstly, more satisfactory jobs need to be created for the poor. In fact, a recent study has concluded that the majority of crimes can be curbed if the basic necessities of the people are met. Furthermore, there has been little success in the war against drugs, so taking stringent actions against drug traffickers can be another solution. To exemplify, the rising crime rate in Punjab can be halted easily by checking the cross border drug supply from Pakistan. After having discussed the most pertinent points of this issue, I feel that even though crime is a growing global problem, mainly caused by the lack of basic necessities and unlawful activities, various methods such as creating new jobs and taking severe actions are available which can prevent this from worsening.
In recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has become the global issue and is increasing at an alarming rate. In this essay, I will examine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors contributing to this problem and will
also
suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions for the same.

There are several reasons for the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
level. One of the reasons
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
is the increasing gap between the rich and the poor. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are in dire need
are bound
to steal for their livelihood.
Furthermore
, illegal activities such as consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
have
also
contributed a lot in enhancing the chaos level around the globe.
For instance
, According to recent news reports, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries like Mexico and, Iran,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addiction has contributed
significantly
in enhancing violence levels.
Finally
, although not a major cause,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
violence in television and game is
also
a contributing factor to violence.

However
, solutions are available to tackle this problem.
Firstly
, more satisfactory jobs need to
be created
for the poor. In fact, a recent study has concluded that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can
be curbed
if the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are met
.
Furthermore
, there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
success in the war against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
taking stringent actions against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
traffickers can be another solution. To exemplify, the rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in Punjab can
be halted
easily
by checking the cross border
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
supply from Pakistan.

After having discussed the most pertinent points of this issue, I feel that
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a growing global problem,
mainly
caused by the lack of
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
and unlawful activities, various methods such as creating new jobs and taking severe actions are available which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this from worsening.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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