Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

level of education, from 2002 to 2010. A steady but significant rise can be seen in the percentage of the population that owned a computer over the period. Just over half the population owned computers in 2002, whereas by 2010 three out of four people had a home computer. v.1

level of education, from 2002 to 2010. A steady but significant rise can be seen in the percentage of the population that owned a computer over the period. Just over half the population owned computers in 2002, whereas by 2010 three out of four people had a home computer. v. 1
Given the power and influence of the super rich, it might seem as if social status and material possessions are the new symbols of personal worth, but in everyday life I do not think this is true. It is apparent that most celebrities today are admired or envied solely for their material wealth or position in various social hierarchies. Many of these people are known to turn their backs on friends, cheat on their spouses or spend their evenings over-indulging in alcohol and/or drugs. Things like owning a mansion, driving an expensive car and getting into A-list parties are exalted above old-fashioned values. Ultimately, though, it is the many readers of gossip magazines and celebrity blogs who reinforce these ideas. Nevertheless, I do believe that in their day-to-day lives most people still believe in values such as honour, kindness and trust. In some way most of us want to form loving families, raise our children to be good citizens, stand up for the downtrodden and protect our communities from harm. We still form friendships, romances and business partnerships based on old-fashioned criteria. When our trust is abused or we are unfairly treated, we see that as a major violation of our relationship and we judge the wrongdoer accordingly. In conclusion, I believe there is some truth to the notion that status and possessions have superseded old-fashioned values as a measure of a person’s worth. Looking beyond the tabloids, however, it is apparent that most ordinary people have still preserved an old-fashioned conscience.
Given
the power and influence of the super rich, it might seem as if social status and material possessions are the new symbols of personal worth,
but
in everyday life I do not
think
this is true. It is apparent that most celebrities
today
are admired
or envied
solely
for their material wealth or position in various social hierarchies.
Many
of these
people
are known
to turn their backs on friends, cheat on their spouses or spend their evenings over-indulging in alcohol and/or drugs. Things like owning a mansion, driving an expensive car and getting into A-list parties
are exalted
above
old-fashioned
values.
Ultimately
, though, it is the
many
readers of gossip magazines and celebrity blogs who reinforce these
ideas
.
Nevertheless
, I do believe that in their day-to-day
lives
most
people
still
believe in values such as
honour
, kindness and trust. In
some
way most of us want to form loving families, raise our children to be
good
citizens, stand up for the downtrodden and protect our communities from harm. We
still
form friendships, romances and business partnerships based on
old-fashioned
criteria. When our trust is
abused or
we are
unfairly
treated, we
see
that as a major violation of our
relationship and
we judge the wrongdoer
accordingly
.
In conclusion
, I believe there is
some
truth to the notion that status and possessions have superseded
old-fashioned
values as a measure of a person’s worth. Looking beyond the tabloids,
however
, it is apparent that most ordinary
people
have
still
preserved an
old-fashioned
conscience.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay level of education, from 2002 to 2010. A steady but significant rise can be seen in the percentage of the population that owned a computer over the period. Just over half the population owned computers in 2002, whereas by 2010 three out of four people had a home computer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts