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General Writing Task - 1Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your Letter -> Thank them for the photos and for the holiday-> Explain v.1

General Writing Task - 1Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your Letter -> Thank them for the photos and for the holiday-> Explain v. 1
People in our modern society tend to be more stressed out than in the past. This trend is mainly due to people's busy life style and complicated human relationships. However, there are a number of implementations that can be installed to tackle the problem of stress people suffer. People today are more likely to feel stressed at work places. Due to the rapid economic growth, adults now work much longer than ever before that prevents them from having work-life balance. Husbands, for instance, often come home very late after their family falls asleep, as a result, they miss having communication with their wives and children. Moreover, workers often feel nervous with human relationships in their work environment. Nowadays, the community in the office tends to be more competitive, rather than cooperative. They, consequently, tend to compete each other, which can receive a massive peer pressure from their work mates. However, even though they are experiencing the stressful situation at work with their colleagues, there are a number of solutions that can be introduced to improve their quality of life. Firstly, employers must balance the working time and break that are often not well controlled by superiors. Employers or managers should monitor the amount of time their subordinates worked strictly in daily basis. If the workers overworked, bosses should allow them to take a longer break, so that they can have work life balance and spend time with their family. Another solution is that the company should start installing the remote working system for both male and female workers. If people could work remotely, they won't be feeling any pressures from their co-workers that might reduce their stress drastically. To sum up, people often feel fatigue and stress at the office working long hours with their colleagues who often give them peer pressure or nervousness. Only when the long break and telecommuting systems introduced, will the situation of adults' stressful life be remedied.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in our modern society tend to be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
out than in the past. This trend is
mainly
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style and complicated human relationships.
However
, there are a number of implementations that can
be installed
to tackle the problem of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are more likely to feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places. Due to the rapid economic growth, adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
much longer than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from having work-life balance. Husbands,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
late after their family falls asleep,
as a result
, they miss having communication with their wives and children.
Moreover
, workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
feel nervous with human relationships in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment. Nowadays, the community in the office tends to be more competitive,
rather
than cooperative. They,
consequently
, tend to compete each other, which can receive a massive peer pressure from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
mates.

However
,
even though
they are experiencing the stressful situation at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with their colleagues, there are a number of solutions that can
be introduced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
balance the working time and break that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
not well controlled by superiors. Employers or managers should monitor the amount of time their subordinates worked
strictly
in daily basis. If the workers overworked, bosses should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to take a longer break,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
balance and spend time with their family. Another solution is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
installing the remote working system for both male and female workers. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
remotely
, they won't be feeling any pressures from their co-workers that might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
drastically
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
feel fatigue and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
at the office working long hours with their colleagues who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
give them peer pressure or nervousness.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when the long break and telecommuting systems introduced, will the situation of adults' stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
be remedied
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay General Writing Task - 1Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your Letter -> Thank them for the photos and for the holiday-> Explain v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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