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For many shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others People however in the past mostly visited those when necessary To what extent do you think this is a negative trend Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant v.1

For many shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others People however in the past mostly visited those when necessary To what extent do you think this is a negative trend 1
Museums store the traditions and history of our ancestors. As a lot of information regarding this is already available online, some people believe that museums should not exist anymore. However, I entirely disagree with this notion because museums allow people to watch in person the belongings of famous people from the past and enable us to learn more about their lives. To begin with, museums opened the doors in the past because they contain in them the essential and special things such as coins, artefacts and manuscripts of our ancestors. By visiting, we can actually see the things used by them and store them in their mind. The items seen in person have a huge impact on a person than seeing mere digital images. Therefore, this can motivate a person to learn more about their ancestors. For instance, the National Museum of Bangladesh has the belongings of Mughal Emperors. So, one can vividly imagine how our elders spent their lives, what were their interests and much more. Only when we have museums, art galleries, exhibitions, or collection of historic objects and artworks, we can present them online. Without the existence of museums and galleries, an online collection of historic objects or works would never have existed. Second, museums and art galleries preserve the real objects while the online presentation has nothing to do with preserving those invaluable works and objects. Moreover, museums and galleries are maintained by a group of experts who knows which objects or works are historically important and decide to preserve them. On the contrary, websites and online resources are often run by ordinary people and maintaining online authenticity is not always possible. To conclude, even though the internet is an easily available and free way of getting important information about one's past and culture, it cannot replace the sentiments attached to visit the museums in person and it cannot allow one to physically handle things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
store the traditions and history of our ancestors. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information regarding this is already available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should not exist anymore.
However
, I
entirely
disagree with this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
the belongings of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the past and enable us to learn more about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
opened the doors in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they contain in them the essential and special things such as coins,
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
and manuscripts of our ancestors. By visiting, we can actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by them and store them in their mind. The items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
have a huge impact on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
than seeing mere digital images.
Therefore
, this can motivate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to learn more about their ancestors.
For instance
, the National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
of Bangladesh has the belongings of Mughal Emperors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, one can
vividly
imagine how our elders spent their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, what were their interests and much more.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
, exhibitions, or collection of historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
objects
and artworks, we can present them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Without the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
collection of historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
objects
or works would never have existed. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
preserve the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
objects
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
presentation has nothing to do with preserving those invaluable works and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
objects
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
are maintained
by a group of experts who knows which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
objects
or works are
historically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and decide to preserve them.
On the contrary
, websites and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
resources are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
run by ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
authenticity is not always possible.

To conclude
,
even though
the internet is an
easily
available and free way of getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information about one's past and culture, it cannot replace the sentiments attached to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
one to
physically
handle things.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay For many shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others People however in the past mostly visited those when necessary To what extent do you think this is a negative trend 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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